


Snow Dust

by VillaKulla



Series: Chalk Dust [2]
Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2015-01-02
Packaged: 2018-03-02 05:47:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 29,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2801804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VillaKulla/pseuds/VillaKulla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to Chalk Dust. Because after a semester of secret meth labs, rogue field trips, falling out with criminals and falling in love, who wouldn't need a winter vacation?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So part of me was kind of tempted to leave Chalk Dust alone. But the other part of me was like 'nah.' 
> 
> Haha a lot of this one will only make sense if you've read that one but hopefully there's enough exposition for it to at least be entertaining!
> 
> Happy Holidays:)

“Jesse Pinkman you are _joking_.”

 

“No I’m not, and Jesus, keep your voice down, would you?”

 

“Alright alright it’s just…oh my _God_?”

 

Jane Margolis leaned back in one of the armchairs that she and Jesse had managed to snag at the local Starbucks. A string of tinsel was swinging above them, Ella Fitzgerald was crooning a sprightly tune about sleigh bells in the speakers over their heads, and their seasonal coffees on the table between them were piled high with whipped cream. The only thing _not_ festive about the scene was Jane’s face, which was staring at Jesse in straight-up shock.

 

Jesse chewed a thumbnail, waiting for her to get it back together. In any other situation he would have taken some time to enjoy the expression of genuine astonishment that so rarely made its way to the face of his normally nonchalant friend. But he was too nervous to fully appreciate it now.

 

He pulled his fingernail away from his teeth to reach for his coffee – which had cost approximately the same as some people’s mortgages but was oh so worth it – and took a sip, looking at Jane expectantly.

 

She shook her head clear like she had just remembered he was there.

 

“Sorry sorry it’s just. Jesse, when _was_ this?”

 

Jesse swirled the coffee around his mouth, savoring how overly sweet it was before taking a swallow.

 

“After the fire.”

 

Jane stared at Jesse for so long he felt compelled to add, “I guess you could say it was the heat of the moment.”

 

“That’s not _funny_ , Jesse, you almost died!” she sputtered.

 

“But I didn’t,” he reminded her gently. “And he’s the one to thank for that, remember?”

 

Jane reached down for her own coffee, absently thumbing the handle of the mug. She seemed unsure about something.

 

“So…is that all it is? ‘Thanking’ him?” she asked a bit tentatively.

 

Jesse’s mouth fell open. “What? I – _no_ , God no, Jane, that’s not it at all. I just mean that’s when we actually, you know, officially…”

 

He gestured a bit weakly and Jane held up her hand to stop him before his air-paintings could get too detailed.

 

“I got it.”

 

Jesse laughed but his face turned serious again. “No but honestly it wasn’t out of nowhere. Stuff was there like…a lot longer than that. I think it just. It just took a while for both of us to see it.”

 

He smiled a bit softly at the last part, his eyes far off as he replayed months of them hesitantly feeling each other out, building up a friendship that was tentative at first but eventually became unshakeable, being tested, coming back together, and through it all, a current that could only be described as  -

 

“Jesse, are you in _love_ with Mr. White?”

 

Jesse broke out into a wide grin above the lip of his coffee mug.

 

“Yeah. Isn’t it great?”

 

Jane stared at her friend who was practically on the verge of laughter as he took a sip of his drink.

 

“Holy shit,” she said, caught more off guard by this admission than the one where her best friend revealed that he was sleeping with a mutual colleague of theirs. A very male mutual colleague of theirs. A very male and much older mutual colleague of theirs.

 

“Jane.”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“It looks like you’re thinking pretty hard about something there. Don’t hurt yourself,” Jesse raised an eyebrow, setting his mug back on the table.

 

“Okay _one_ , screw you. And _two_ , come on, Jesse, did you think I wouldn’t be even just a _little_ surprised?” she asked skeptically.

 

“What, because he’s a dude?” asked Jesse, his other eyebrow going up to meet the other one beneath his hairline.

 

“Uh, _no_ , I’m pretty sure that’s the last part that would surprise me,” she snorted.

 

And it was true, she wasn’t surprised by that. They’d both met in an addicts anonymous group, where the odds of any members being blushing virgins were on the slim side. Both had a past with drugs and Jane knew the score. While meth had never been a poison of choice for her like it had been for Jesse, she knew that once you’re on it, it can become about just _desperately_ needing the touch of someone’s skin. Who it belonged to or what shape it came in was often irrelevant.

 

So no, she wasn’t surprised at this particular detail. But still, sex while being in a crystalline haze was a far cry from sex while being in _love_.

 

“Jess, it’s just that…how old even _is_ he? He must be about - ”

 

“- double my age?” asked Jesse, and nodded. “On the dot.”

 

“And this isn’t at all unusual to you?”

 

“ _Everything_ about it is unusual to me,” said Jesse. “That doesn’t mean it’s not working. I mean come on, you saw us at school. You didn’t think the age difference was weird when we were becoming friends or anything.”

 

“ _Friends_ Jesse, that’s different. It’s weird when the older guy with kids who’s semi-recently divorced is all of a sudden looking to the nearest younger guy because of a mid-life crisis or something. I mean you don’t think the whole thing is a bit…” she broke off as Jesse leaned forward.

 

“A bit _what_ , Jane?”

 

She wanted to swallow the words but Jesse was her best friend. She owed it to him to say it, and she cast her eyes around quickly before leaning in to match him.

 

“A bit sleazy?” she hissed.

 

“First of all,” said Jesse in a low voice, his eyes uncharacteristically hard. “That’s the last time you say that about him. And second of all if I were a girl with an older guy no one would think it was weird. And lastly I’m not some _junkie kid_ who can’t think for himself anymore. I wouldn’t have thought I’d need to convince _you_ how different I am now.”

 

Jane bit her lip. It’s true that this Jesse was much more confident and together than the withdrawn, defensive kid she’d met years ago in the basement of a community center who was standing awkwardly by the snacks table, trying to conceal the shakes.

 

Jesse softened his voice a bit. “I’m not a kid anymore, Jane,” he said again. “I can make my own decisions and…and I _know_ it happened quickly and I _know_ it seems strange, I get that but,” he widened his eyes pleadingly. “But already this feels like the best decision I’ve ever made. I used to be unsure about so much but I’m completely, one-hundred percent sure about this.”

 

Jane looked over Jesse’s face, earnest but completely resolute. She’d certainly never seen him this set on something. And there was no question about how Jesse carried himself these days. He might have given his kindergarten students a run for their money in the ‘boyish’ department, but no one would at him now and think _kid_. And she’d seen him with Mr. White, seen how freakishly on the same level they were, how quickly they’d reached a point where if someone saw them talking they’d think they were old friends, not two people who’d only been working together for a matter of months. Now that she’d had more time to think about the two of them, she only wondered why she hadn’t thought about the possibility of this _sooner_.

 

She exhaled through her nose and leaned back. “Sorry. I didn’t mean it like that, I just. This all seems so fast and I care about you is all, Jesse. We’re supposed to tell each other these things,” she said gently.

 

Jesse finally looked a bit guilty. “I know. I’m – sorry. I should have told you sooner but it’s just…it _was_ fast. We’d barely figured it out ourselves, and then there was one thing after another with the fire, and then with dealing with that, and then actually dealing with _us_ , and now things are a bit calmer and…and I’m telling you now?”

 

Jane smiled but looked thoughtful again. “Okay last question I promise.” Jesse looked at her quizzically and Jane lowered her voice to ask, almost hesitantly:

 

“Does he love you?”

 

She wasn’t prepared for how instantly _flooded_ with contentment Jesse’s face became. If his words hadn’t convinced her before then his face now would have. But she still waited to hear it.

 

Jesse smiled to himself. He was remembering the night before, lying together in the dark, soft touches, desperate sounds, and those very words murmured gently into his skin, over and over while Jesse slowly came undone…

 

Jesse looked back up, eyes soft.

 

“Yeah.” He was suddenly too overcome to manage anything more.

 

Jane smiled and reached out as though she were about to grab his hand. Instead she reached for her coffee mug and held it up.

 

“Well then in that case I’m very happy for you.”

 

Jesse looked up eyebrows bunching. Jane just nodded encouragingly.

 

“You _and_ your sugar daddy.”

 

Jesse burst out into some sound halfway between laughter and a groan. He rubbed his temples.

 

“You’re very funny, Margolis,” he muttered, but he was grinning as he reached out for his own mug, clinking it lightly against hers.

 

They each took a sip, a lot more comfortable than they’d been five minutes earlier. Neither liked arguing with the other very much.

 

Setting his mug down, Jesse perked up. “Well I’m glad you’re down. We’ll have to get you around for dinner sometime.”

 

Jane nodded but then paused, frowning slightly. “ _We’ll_?” she asked, picking up on Jesse’s choice of words.

 

Jesse looked a bit sheepish but a smile was playing around his lips.

 

“Uh yeah, sorry I probably should have told you that too but uh. We’re kind of living together now.”

 

Jane sputtered into her coffee, looking up in disbelief. Jesse just grinned.

 

“He bought us a house.”

 

Jesse raised his mug to his lips, pausing to raise an eyebrow and mouth ‘sugar daddy’ before taking an obscenely exaggerated slurp.

 

And dissolving into laughter at Jane’s incredulous face, Jesse dodged the good-natured swipe she aimed his way and wondered when his life had gotten this full.

 

 

*******

“I’m home!”

 

Walt looked up from his laptop. He’d been involved in a particularly aggravating chain of emails, sitting in the middle of the living room. But seeing Jesse burst in through the front door – _their_ front door, shrugging off his coat and sending a breezy smile and a cheery ‘Yo’ his way, all his irritation dissolved.

 

“Yo yourself.” His lip twitched up under his goatee. He reached for the mass of papers beside him on the couch and chucked them onto the coffee table next to his laptop, clearing a space for Jesse beside him.

 

Jesse slid off his shoes and padded over across the room towards him. Walt extended an arm and Jesse slid in to curl right up against Walt’s side.

 

Walt immediately closed his arm around Jesse, drawing him in. He pressed a kiss to the side of Jesse’s head.

 

“How are you?” he asked, giving Jesse’s shoulder a light squeeze.

 

“Pretty good,” said Jesse, shifting slightly so he could press up even closer against him, smiling all the while. “You?”

 

“Better now,” Walt mumbled into Jesse’s hair, meaning it. He leaned forward to close his laptop, taking a look around the living room as he did. Looking out at his and Jesse’s shared space, their individual papers and books spread out everywhere adding a homey clutter to the scene, he couldn’t help a familiar feeling of both satisfaction and wonder.

 

It was a bright room with trendy angles and a lot of light. The whole house was similar: an appealing mix of modern décor paired with dark, sturdy, comfortable furniture. Like his own relationship with Jesse, the combination in theory shouldn’t work. And yet when put together the result felt seamless and Walt couldn’t imagine it any other way. They’d only been living together for a few weeks but already it felt like home.

 

Walt wasn’t sure what he’d done exactly to deserve any of this. Well, mostly what he’d done to deserve Jesse. The house itself had been bought and paid for with money he was still ashamed of earning. ‘Online meth consultant’ wasn’t exactly something you could put on a CV, but my god did it ever pay.

 

But that was all over now. By some miracle Walt had not only gotten away with it, but had come out the other side better than ever and with someone he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.

 

Oh yeah. And enough money to set up said life whether it was by buying a house nicer than any Walt had ever lived in before, or by channeling part of the money through various streams in order to rebuild Jesse’s side of the school where they worked.

 

The former had been ridiculously satisfying to surprise Jesse with. The latter had been even more rewarding, but a much bigger headache when it came to actually executing.

 

As though reading Walt’s thoughts, Jesse nodded comfortably at the closed laptop.

 

“What are you working on?”

 

Walt’s forehead creased slightly. “I’m emailing Saul. We’re still working on a way of anonymously getting the funds to the school board so that we can actually start rebuilding the school. It can’t _just_ be anonymous, it has to be unsuspicious.”

 

“So what’s the problem?”

 

“Well so far nothing, we’ll think of something. Eventually,” Walt sighed. “But I’m only just now realizing that even if we had a brilliant solution this very moment, there’s no way an _entire_ elementary school could get rebuilt over Christmas break. And no amount of nefariously-gained money can speed along actual construction at that scale. It’s not financial, it’s,” he huffed out a laugh. “Physics.”

 

“Sorry Jesse,” he said, squeezing Jesse’s shoulder again. “I was hoping that it could get built over break and we’d both be back at Wynne starting in January, but it looks like that was overly optimistic. We’d need all of next semester just to get it built anyways.”

 

“Wow I’m so very angry at you right now,” deadpanned Jesse. “How dare you not have an entire school ready in a month. How dare you offer to rebuild my place of work with your money in the first place. And fuck this house you bought for us too while you’re at it.”

 

Walt slapped Jesse’s shoulder lightly where he was squeezing it. “Punk.”

 

Jesse laughed and reached out to squeeze Walt’s knee. Walt relaxed and smiled a bit when he felt Jesse starting to massage his leg.

 

“But really, you’ll be okay? It might mean you won’t be able to work in the meantime. I mean you could always try and apply somewhere else, but not many schools are hiring new staff in January,” Walt said.

 

Jesse shrugged. “I can sub. I should be able to do that for most of the winter semester, and then it’s summer break, and after that, once the school’s up and running?” He turned a smile up at Walt. “I get to work with you in the fall again.”

 

Walt smiled, unable to resist dipping his head to give Jesse a quick kiss.

 

Drawing back he reached up to thumb Jesse’s chin he also couldn’t resist adding: “I hope you don’t mind, but there’s no secret meth lab in the basement this time. Budget constraints and all that.”

 

Jesse snorted. “Hilarious,” he said giving Walt’s knee a thump where he’d been squeezing it a moment ago. “But no I don’t mind just subbing next year. Just a semester though, it’ll be nice to go back to work for real.”

 

Walt felt a rush of fondness. He didn’t know Jesse when he was at the rock bottom of his drug days. But he could use his imagination, and the fact that Jesse had picked himself up to become an adult who was not only clean but looked forward to having a job was something Walt would never stop being impressed by.

 

“Well good,” he said. “I like you when you’re working.”

 

Jesse’s mouth quirked up. “I like me when I’m working too.”

 

“It’s too bad though,” Walt said, humming thoughtfully. “Here I was looking forward to coming home from work and having you ready to greet me, housewife-style. Hanging out by the pool on weekends on a lawn chair, eating grapes, watching you clean the filters. Bringing you with me to staff events as my arm candy.”

 

Jesse burst out laughing. “Oh God just don’t say that in front of Jane, she already thinks you’re my sugar daddy.”

 

Walt swiveled his head to Jesse. “Oh that’s right, today was when you told her, right? And? How’d it go?”

 

He hadn’t gotten to know Jane all that well during the semester she’d taught at the short-lived J.P. Wynne Junior, but they had gotten along well enough and he knew how close she and Jesse were. He also knew how nervous Jesse was about telling her.

 

Jesse rested his head on Walt’s shoulder. “It was good. I mean okay, she was kind of surprised at first but I probably could have let her know a little better.”

 

“Why? Did you break the news by showing her copies of the photos or something?” Walt teased.

 

Jesse blushed to his roots, remembering that particular night. What do you get when you combine whiskey (for Walt), a desperate need to unwind (for Jesse) and a camera they’d found on sale while furniture shopping? Photos that depicted a series of positions Jesse was pretty sure were banned in some states, and that were best kept locked away in the bedroom safe.

 

“ _No_ because we both agreed that those don’t ever see the light of day. But yeah I think she had a hard time buying that it wasn’t just a fling or whatever. But she came around in the end,” said Jesse, no small amount of relief in his voice. He then laughed. “It probably helped that I couldn’t shut up about you the whole rest of the time we were hanging out.”

 

Walt ran a hand along the side of Jesse’s arm. “Don’t worry if she seems slow to come around. You’re her best friend. She should be worried about some old guy coming along to steal your virtue.”

 

Jesse lifted his head off of Walt’s shoulder, giving him a sly grin. “I should have told her it was the other way around.” And then it was Walt’s turn to blush.

 

“Yeah yeah, get over yourself,” he mumbled thinking back to the first time he pulled Jesse over on top of him, spreading his legs in a way that left no room for interpretation as he very deliberately handed the lube to an incredulous Jesse, wearing nothing but a cocky smile that had turned into a blissful, disbelieving O-shape the second Jesse had slid inside him with a drawn-out groan.

 

“Oh please,” said Jesse, and Walt snapped back to the present day. “You initiate it like half the time so chill.”

 

“Speaking of which,” Walt said, lowering his voice in a way he knew would send an involuntary tremor through Jesse. “You up for it?” he asked with a grin.

 

Jesse matched it, catching Walt’s drift immediately. “Is that some kind of trick question?”

 

Walt winked as he stood up, giving Jesse’s hand a tug. “Come on.”

 

They made their way upstairs, taking their time, trading kisses and playfully groping at each other before stumbling into the main bedroom. The rest of the house looked like it belonged in some architecture-lovers magazine, and this room was no exception. What actually went on in this bedroom however belonged in another sort of magazine altogether.

 

Walt let Jesse tip him back onto the king-sized bed that dominated the room, and pulled him over on top where they continued making out like teenagers. _God_ Jesse was a good kisser, Walt had lucked out there. Walt spent all of five seconds trying to take his time but when Jesse did _that_ with his lips – yeah, not an option.

 

He eagerly leaned forward to lift up Jesse’s shirt for him and Jesse pulled it up and over his head before bending down to do Walt’s with a foxy grin that Walt felt first in his heart, and then somewhere significantly further south.

 

As they took off the rest of their clothes, Walt had a moment to marvel at how this feeling never got _old_. You’d think at some point the novelty of falling into bed together would have worn off, become routine. But when it was with Jesse? No chance.

 

Walt groaned as Jesse trailed a hand down his chest, following the same path with his tongue, pausing to flick it against Walt’s nipples and bite them gently. Jesse nuzzled Walt’s chest and still lying on top of him he reached over towards the nightstand.

 

“Oh, um actually,” Walt began. Jesse looked back at Walt who gave a sheepish smile. “I kind of already took care of it.”

 

Jesse raised an eyebrow, the beginnings of a questioning smile forming.

 

Walt shrugged. “You were out longer than I expected.”

 

Jesse gave a snort of amazed laughter, leaning back over Walt. He ran his hand over his hipbones, brushing his hand over Walt’s cock, rubbing the heel of his palm against it, murmuring “You think of everything, don’t you?” into Walt’s ear. Walt grunted and thrust upwards, needing more pressure. Jesse just laughed at him and let his hand travel lower and lower, over Walt’s balls, reaching under him…

 

When Jesse’s fingers slipped over the wetness that Walt had already applied, his laughter broke off abruptly and he felt himself go instantly, fully hard.

 

“Oh _fuck_ , Mr. White,” he breathed as his eyes fluttered shut, finger circling over the slickness.

 

Walt smirked. “You waiting for something?” he asked, tilting up his hips invitingly.

 

“In a minute,” gasped Jesse, his eyes innocent, finger teasing his entrance. “I just need to make sure you did it properly, you know?” he said grinning as he slipped a finger inside.

 

Walt hissed in a breath, astonished as ever by how much he got off on this. True, the bulk of their bedroom activities still mostly involved having Jesse pinned under him, fingers digging into his back while Walt delivered one desperate thrust after another until they were both coming apart.

 

But something about having Jesse’s nimble fingers inside of him, tantalizingly stroking the thin walls there, lightly brushing against him, curving invitingly…the feeling was bizarre in some ways but all the more delicious for it, and the overwhelming combination of sensations was enough to make Walt weak at the knees.

 

Walt reached up to clutch Jesse’s shoulders, choking out a gasp when Jesse slipped in a second finger, rubbing gently inside of him. He arched his back involuntarily. He had already prepped himself but Christ, his own mechanical administrations had nothing on Jesse’s teasing strokes now.

 

“Any day now, Jesse,” he managed to get out between heavy breaths.

 

Jesse drew his fingers out. He was shaking a little but his voice was steady as he asked, “What, so now you can’t wait five seconds?”

 

Walt snorted. “You’re one to talk. Wasn’t five seconds about how long you lasted the first time we did this?”

 

Jesse flushed red, but he was grinning. “Oh and I feel just awful about that, believe me. Besides, that was your own damn fault for being so…being so…”

 

Walt looked up at him eyes twinkling and Jesse gazed back, his smile melting into something softer. He reached up to rub Walt’s jaw.

 

“Being so you,” he finally finished, and bent down to kiss him.

 

And when Walt kissed him back and raised his hips at the same time, Jesse managed to pull himself together enough to line himself up. And trembling all over he pushed forward and eased his way into Mr. White.

 

Both let out a sigh at the same time, caught each other’s eye, and burst out laughing. Walt then rolled his hips upwards, taking in a shaky breath at the heavy slide inside him. Jesse’s eyes went a bit starry and Walt did it again.

 

Jesse whined. “Yo it’s gonna be four seconds instead of five if you keep doing that, man, it’s like you want me to beat my record.”

 

“I’d rather you beat something else if you catch my drift,” said Walt, comically raising an eyebrow.

 

“No. I don’t. You’ll have to explain that to me sometime,” said Jesse drily, somehow still managing to _sound_ composed, even if Mr. White squeezing around him made him feel anything but.

 

Walt rolled his hips again. “Are you waiting for something in particular?”

 

“Just for you to stop bitching,” Jesse said lightly.

 

“I am _not_ , I’m merely suggesting that if you felt like touching me sometime this week it’d be a lot more –“

 

“Bitch bitch bitch,” grinned Jesse, bending down and nipping Walt’s lower lip.

 

“Are you saying I’m _doing_ that, or that I _am_ that?”

 

“Depends how much you feel like one right now.”

 

“Christ, Jesse, would you just,” Walt’s voice broke, the cocksure tone finally evaporating to be replaced by something more desperate. “Just – fuck, Jesse, just _touch_ me already, _please_.”

 

Jesse let out a strangled sound at the words he’d been patiently waiting for. He was never prepared for how much Mr. White’s voice hit him when it was that needy, even if it was exactly what he’d been trying to tease out of him. And the moment his hand went and closed around Mr. White’s cock, the man threw his head back in a gasping moan that had Jesse’s balls tightening almost instantly.

 

Jesse began thrusting in and out of Walt, timing his strokes on Walt’s cock more or less simultaneously. He felt a burst of precome over his hand and deliberately raised it, licking his fingers, staring heatedly down at Mr. White. Walt parted his lips and Jesse rubbed one cum-slick finger over them. Mr. White’s mouth closed around his finger and began sucking it lightly, eyes glinting, knowing exactly what the sight was doing to Jesse.

 

 And unable to play it cool any longer Jesse groaned and his hands went desperately to Mr. White's body: his arms, his shoulders, his stomach, his sides, anywhere he could fucking reach. And with his fingers digging into his skin he abandoned any finesse and just thrust frantically into Mr. White over and over.

 

Walt panted, all of it being so much, so hot –

 

“So good,” he sighed in Jesse’s ear.

 

Jesse moaned and his grip on Walt’s skin tightened. Walt kissed his ear and Jesse gave a particularly erratic thrust.

 

“Come on, Jesse,” he murmured, hands going to Jesse's sweat-slicked back to rub encouraging circles. “Give it to me.”

 

Jesse gave a choked cryand slid faster into Mr. White.

 

Holy shit, this was almost too much for Jesse to handle, being with Mr. White like this, on top of him, inside him…Oh god he was just so – so _broad_. There was so much for Jesse to run his hands over, to stroke, to grip, to sink into…

 

Walt slid his hands lower and lower until they were cupping Jesse’s ass which he then squeezed and couldn’t resist giving an authoritative slap.

 

“Harder,” he ordered huskily.

 

“Oh Jesus, Mr. – Mr. _White_.”

 

Jesse buried his head into Walt’s chest, gasping wildly, hips pumping, hand blindly reaching for Walt’s cock which he squeezed desperately, once, twice -

 

“Oh _fuck_ ,” Walt groaned, coming over Jesse’s fingers, coating his hand with warm wetness. “ _Jesse_.”

 

And hearing his name like that, feeling the hot burst over his fingers, seeing Mr. White’s eyes clench shut while he clenched around Jesse…

 

Jesse couldn’t have lasted another second if he tried. He buried his face into Mr. White’s neck, let out a helpless moan and came so hard his vision practically whited out.

 

Walt ran his hands up and down Jesse’s ribcage while Jesse trembled, the last of his orgasm shaking its way out of him and into Walt, making Walt’s toes curl.

 

Jesse collapsed inelegantly onto Walt’s chest taking rapid breaths, his eyes blown wide. He somehow managed to have the presence of mind to slide out of him, but fell right back down again.

 

Walt was panting as he traced circles through the sweat between Jesse’s shoulder blades. Walt felt damp absolutely everywhere but hell if he was complaining about it. Pressing a kiss to the top of Jesse’ hair he slid his hand over Jesse’s shoulder, down his arm, skating over his wrist and coming to a stop at Jesse’s hand. Jesse had just enough wits left to lace their fingers together, giving Walt’s hand a squeeze.

 

Still draped on top of Mr. White, their hands clasped together, Jesse listened to the sound of his heart returning to normal, and shifted slightly with every rise and fall of Mr. White’s chest.

 

“Well that was - ” he finally managed to croak out, breaking off there.

 

Walt nodded, dazed. “That was.”

 

Jesse got the giggles like he usually did after sex with Mr. White. And as per usual, Walt was defenseless against the sound. He squeezed their still-tangled fingers together once, and let go to wrap his arms around Jesse.

 

Jesse closed his eyes, resting his head against Mr. White’s chest, humming contentedly.

 

“Is that –“ Walt frowned. “Is that ‘Sleigh Ride’?”

 

Jesse burst out laughing, realizing the tune he’d been humming absently was the one he’d heard over the speakers during coffee with Jane while telling her he was with Mr. White.

 

“It might be. But I do take requests.”

 

“I’ll keep it in mind,” Walt smiled closing his eyes. All of a sudden he started to shake in silent laughter.

 

“What?” grinned Jesse, leaning up to look at him.

 

“Nothing,” said Walt, opening his eyes again. “It’s just –“

 

He started laughing again and leaned forward to catch Jesse’s lips between his and kiss him. Jesse responded immediately.

 

Walt broke off, still grinning.

 

“I love the holidays.”

 

Jesse laughed, going back in, kissing Mr. White enthusiastically. And feeling Mr. White’s arms wrap back around him, he privately agreed that when it came to this holiday in particular? Getting to spend it with Mr. White?

 

Things felt like they were off to a pretty darn good start.


	2. Chapter 2

“Who do they think they’re fooling with this pricing?” Walt asked incredulously.

 

Skyler rolled up beside him in the aisle, pushing a grocery cart that was practically overflowing with a Christmas dinner that was still in its embryonic stages: cans of cranberry sauce, packages of bread for stuffing, sacks of onions and potatoes, everything that the combined White, Lambert and Schrader households could possibly need for coming together on Christmas Day. Everything except a turkey that is, because Walt was still looking at the selection of frozen birds with an expression of disbelief on his face.

 

“Because they know we’ll buy them anyways,” said Skyler, double-checking her grocery list. When she looked back up, her ex-husband was still staring into the freezer muttering to himself. “Oh for crying out loud, just grab one, Walt.”

 

“Forty dollars for a twenty pound turkey, honestly, Sky,” he said. “I mean really, was the turkey in the Macy’s parade? I didn’t think so.”

 

Skyler rolled the grocery cart a little closer, leaning forward.

 

“It’s not exactly as though you can’t afford it, mister,” she pointed out in a quieter voice, eyebrows raised.

 

Walt had the grace to flush slightly. Part of him had wanted to avoid telling Skyler exactly where the funds for his cancer treatment had come from, way back when they were splitting up but still living together for their kids. Not the crap he’d given her about finally accepting charity from Gretchen and Elliot.

 

But his ex-wife wasn’t an idiot. Walt’s new house? All the repairs being done to their old one? Their son’s physiotherapy suddenly upping in quality? She was bound to figure something out sooner or later.

 

Walt had wrung his hands over telling her about a month ago. He’d spent more than a few evenings pacing across the floor of Jesse’s old living room while they were in the process of moving into their own place. Jesse would be working on something or other on his laptop while Walt hemmed and hawed over the issue, talking to Jesse sometimes but mostly talking to himself. Eventually Jesse had snapped his laptop closed one night giving Walt an annoyed look.

 

“Yo, as much as you know I love telling you what to do, my opinion literally doesn’t matter on this one because this is totally your call. So either tell her or don’t but it’s entirely up to you.”

 

Walt had deflated, knowing Jesse was right. And he knew he would tell Skyler about it however much he’d been procrastinating on it. It was the right thing to do, and this was ‘New-Leaf Walt’ after all.

 

Well if ‘New-Leaf Walt’ been expecting a telling off from Skyler after revealing the whole story he was wrong. She hadn’t flown into a blind rage like he had expected. She’d just thought for a long time and seemed to be grappling with something.

 

Finally she’d looked back up at him.

 

“You said it’s over?”

 

“It’s over, Skyler. And no matter where it came from, the money does exist and it might as well be used for some good. Are you going to let me support my family?”

 

They hadn’t made it this far in their relationship to be torn apart now, not when Walt was genuinely a changed man and one who was making amends in his life. And when Walt had looked at her pleadingly, and said, “I don’t have the right to ask you to forgive me. But if you do I promise it’s the last time you’ll ever have to in your life,” well…

 

She’d forgiven him for so many things before. What was one more?

 

So she had taken the reveal in stride. He was the father of her children and if he could use this money he already owned to improve their lives, then Skyler could be pragmatic. So Skyler Lambert received regular payments courtesy of a P.O. Box, not unlike how Walt had received his payments in the first place.

 

“Consider it alimony,” he’d told her with a smirk while handing her the key. This money went towards bills, school, food, doctor’s appointments, clothes, repairs, and more recently things like Christmas presents as well as Christmas grocery shopping they were doing now which they were never going to get through if Walt kept staring at the freezer with an expression of consternation on his face.

 

“It’s not about that, it’s the _principle_ of the thing,” Walt protested. “No one in their right mind would ever pay forty dollars for a turkey like this, even if it _is_ the last one left.”

 

“Well fortunately you’ve never been in your right mind,” Skyler said drily, reaching past him to grab it before someone else could, smiling at his objections. “May we continue?”

 

Walt rolled his eyes and they set off down the aisles, looking for the last items on their list, finding the routes with the least traffic in the crowded supermarket.

 

“Do you remember the first time we had my mother over to Christmas dinner?” asked Walt suddenly.

 

“I do,” laughed Skyler. “Because wasn’t it the last?”

 

“Jesus,” said Walt shaking his head. “Never again.”

 

“Damn right,” Skyler said, reaching out and grabbing a baguette on impulse. “Let me know when we pass the pâté. But yes I still think I have post- traumatic stress about that one so thank you, thank you very much for bringing that up. Oh God remember when she _insisted_ on being the one to carve the turkey? Because I was apparently ‘still becoming acquainted’ with basic hostess tasks?”

 

“And cut to us still trying to stem the blood flow five minutes after she almost sliced her finger off,” chuckled Walt. “Of all the times to be out of bandaids.”

 

“My God I still have a headache from that evening,” Skyler said in disbelief. “And then the criticism started with us choosing ‘overly-dangerous’ knives, and then how we must have picked out a table that was too slanted –“

 

“ – and don’t forget the quality of the floors which _clearly_ added to the problem,” Walt said in an imitation of his mother.

 

“She _hated_ our house! Remember how she brought up every single room and what was wrong with it?” asked Skyler.

 

“I do, but mostly I remember her being interrupted halfway through when Junior’s baby food hit her square in the face.”

 

Skyler burst out laughing. “And how old was he then?”

 

“Oh God, he’d just turned one, hadn’t he? And we were sure he had a future career in baseball. I mean you can’t tell me he wasn’t aiming then, it was too perfect. Oh hey do you need candles? They’re on sale.”

 

“Yeah grab them, thanks. But wow. Even if that Christmas sucked it at least had a perfect ending courtesy of our son and his timing,” said Skyler, remembering how her then-mother-in-law had stormed out. She’d had a brief moment to think she’d somehow failed at hostessing, failed at married life, failed her family. And then her husband was coming over, kissing her forehead while handing her their son, and enthusiastically insisting that was the merriest he’d ever seen his mother, had he married some kind of miracle worker? He’d then made hot chocolate and they all curled up on the sofa to watch the Grinch.

 

“Yeah well he does have good genes,” said Walt, elbowing Skyler. She elbowed him back as they navigated the cart around a particularly hazardous bend in the supermarket.

 

“I wonder if Holly’s inherited that arm,” mused Walt. Skyler could tell his eyes were about five years ahead, imagining little league games.

 

“Well I guess we’ll find out at Christmas dinner, won’t we?” she asked, perusing a shelf of canned vegetables, wondering if they had enough.

 

“What, by seeing if she’s a food-thrower too?” laughed Walt. “Then I feel bad for whoever the victim is.”

 

“Well we know it wouldn’t be Jesse at least,” said Skyler, reaching for an extra can of peas. “She _loves_ him, my God.”

 

“Yeah well,” said Walt, smiling slightly as he made more room in the cart. “That makes two of us.”

 

Skyler felt a stab of fondness for her ex-husband. But she still corrected him with: “Three of us. I can’t thank that guy of yours enough for what he’s done for you.”

 

“And what’s that?” asked Walt, genuinely curious but grinning like a Cheshire cat like he always did whenever Jesse came up.

 

Skyler didn’t even respond, just pointed to Walt’s smile which was becoming borderline loony. He wiped it off, scowling at her. Skyler just smirked. But she genuinely meant it. One minute she’d been quickly greeting some coworker of Walt’s, the next minute she’d been making spaces at the dinner table for Walt’s best friend, and finally she’d been watching her ex-husband and this person who’d entered his life unconsciously mirroring each other’s poses, perpetually leaned in towards the other, wondering when the hell they’d open their eyes. Because of Jesse, Skyler had watched her ex-husband gradually become someone who was so much more animated, but somehow so much more peaceful at the same time. Of course she was glad about it.

 

“Yeah well, I have to thank you too,” mumbled Walt. “You know. Just for being so good about the whole thing. Not thinking it’s weird that Jesse is so much y–“

 

“- So much more out of your league?” she grinned at him.

 

Walt snorted. “Yeah. That’s exactly what I was going to say. But really. Thanks.”

 

“Please, I’m just glad the two of you finally got it together,” she said rolling her eyes. “Watching you two dance around each other all semester was the most frustrating time of my life.”

 

“Oh come on we weren’t _that_ bad,” huffed Walt.

 

“Uh, the amount of times I wanted to bash your heads together? Astronomical. I’ve seen cutlery less oblivious than you two.” She suddenly broke off laughing. “Remember the time I found you two sleeping on the sofa? When I left you’d both been working and when I came back you were practically comatose with Jesse half on top of you drooling into your shoulder.”

 

Walt did in fact remember that particular occasion, waking up a mixture of comfortable and embarrassed, both him and Jesse avoiding each other’s eyes, and grateful when Skyler cut the tension by giving them chores to do in the kitchen because Jesse, you’d be staying for dinner of course?

 

“Oh quick grab some eggnog,” Skyler said. “More than that, Walt, you know Junior will finish off one whole carton by himself.”

 

Walt wrinkled his nose, grabbing another carton. “I’m not surprised. This stuff tastes like leftover cereal bowl milk.”

 

“Thank you for your input, Scrooge, other people like it. But really, how could I think it’s weird when you two would talk like you’re the only other people in the room? The only weird thing is the fact I could apparently see it before you.”

 

“Well,” Walt paused. “I guess it’s because between you and me, one of us has a phD, an IQ of a hundred and ninety, multiple awards for contributions to science…and the other one is actually smart.”

 

Skyler grinned and Walt leaned in to kiss her swiftly on the cheek. “Do we have everything?”

 

“Yep I think that covers it. Let’s get in line,” she said as they completed their 360 of the supermarket, pulling up back at the cash registers with their lines spilling out into the aisles, everyone else getting their holiday groceries too. “Oh hey I haven’t been shopping with you in ages, do the magic trick.”

 

“It’s not a _magic_ trick, Sky,” said Walt exasperatedly. “It’s just math.”

 

“Math is what _I_ do. This is something else entirely. Go.”

 

Walt sighed but cast her an amused glance. And then he looked back at the lines, eyes becoming more focused. Skyler watched his eyes as they rapidly darted around the cash registers, counting how many shoppers were in each line, estimating how many items were in their carts based on the volumes of each, calculating how long it took each customer to unload them, comparing it to the average speed of each cashier until finally –

 

Walt blinked himself back to reality, nodding at the line two rows to their left.

 

“That one’s the fastest.”

 

Skyler laughed a bit gleefully as they got into that line. “See? Magic.”

 

“Math.”

 

“Whatever.”

 

Walt suddenly flashed back to months ago, standing in the middle of Jesse’s classroom, the first time they’d ever really clicked, fielding questions from all of Jesse’s students, before they’d even liked each other.

 

_Is chemistry magic?_

_Close enough_

A rush of warmth suddenly spiked through him. He pushed it back down to save for later and turned to Skyler, forehead wrinkling.

 

“Oh hey, while we’re on the subject of relationships…I’m sorry to hear things ended with Ted.”

 

Skyler shrugged. “Oh. Don’t be. To be honest that wasn’t ever going to last.”

 

Walt made a thoughtful sound. “No? He’s a nice guy.”

 

“A nice guy who was a complete rebound. Did _you_ know you can still rebound after the age of forty? I didn’t.”

 

Walt pushed the cart forward as the line moved. “Well. If _I’m_ being perfectly honest? You can do a lot better than Ted Beneke.”

 

“Well it’s not as though there was _no_ appeal,” said Skyler, defending herself a little. “I mean he’s nice, stable, safe –“

 

“Come on. You need someone exciting,” said Walt. “Someone funny, someone smart, someone –“

 

“- in their twenties, looks great in jeans and has blue eyes that just won’t quit?” asked Skyler with a mischievous glint in her eyes.

 

Walt didn’t miss a beat. “You can’t just describe your _self_ , Sky, that’s not how it works.”

 

“Oho! _Very_ smooth, you.”

 

“I do have that affect on people,” said Walt, nodding very seriously.

 

“That’s a good one.”

 

“Come on, I’m smoother than Beneke for Christ’s sake.”

 

“You just _said_ you were sorry to hear we ended it!”

 

“I lied.”

 

“So did I when I said you were smooth.”

 

“No you didn’t.”

 

“Oh you want to bet?”

 

Bickering good-naturedly they began unloading their groceries onto the conveyor belt at the cash.

 

Whether or not Walt was right about Skyler lying, he was right about one thing:

 

This line was by far the fastest.

 

***

 

 

“We have a visitor,” Walt called out, voice muffled around the mail he had stuck between his teeth while unlocking the front door, stepping into their main hall, carrying groceries.

 

“You stole my line,” said Jesse lightly, appearing from around the corner. He walked over, smiling at the mail in Walt’s mouth. He took it out from between Walt’s lips, leaning in to kiss him quickly. Drawing back he noticed who was behind him. “Oh hey, Skyler!”

 

“Hey honey,” she said fondly. “Mind grabbing these?”

 

“Yeah sure,” Jesse said, reaching out for the bags in her arms, grabbing the ones Walt handed him as well. They had gone out to get groceries for Christmas at Skyler’s, but picked up some groceries for Walt and Jesse as well.

 

“What were you about to say?” Walt called after him.

 

“Saul’s here,” Jesse threw out over his shoulder.

 

Walt muttered under his breath. They’d needed this lawyer on one occasion, and Walt had been hoping it would be the only occasion. No such luck, since moving around huge sums of his money took more finagling than he thought.

 

Saul had turned out to be actually quite competent at managing Walt’s ill-gotten gains, not to mention he had a much more serious work ethic than his choice in suits would suggest. Walt had even found himself developing a kind of vague amusement for the man. That didn’t mean he wanted to see him the second he got home when he was hoping to relax.

 

Gearing up for Saul’s rapid-fire delivery, Walt was glad he did when the man himself whirled into frame from around the corner, fingers pointed, wearing a shark-like smile above a coral-orange tie.

 

“ _There’s_ the maestro, Jesse and I were just talking about you and lo and behold, who shows up? The man himself, I tell ya, you could be on the stage with timing like that.”

 

“It’s good to see you too, Saul,” Walt said tiredly.

 

“That is the correct response to me, well done, you get to move on to final Jeopardy! Hold everything…” Saul broke off, staring over Walt’s shoulder. “Don’t tell me you picked up this at the store too?”

 

“If you’re referring to the woman standing behind me that would be Skyler my ex-wife. Skyler this is Saul.”

 

Skyler stepped forward with a slightly bemused expression to shake Saul’s hand.

 

“Don’t look him directly in the eyes,” Walt stage-whispered. Skyler stepped on his foot.

 

“Nice to meet you, Saul.”

 

“I’d return the sentiment but ‘nice’ wouldn’t even begin to do it justice,” said Saul, turning to face Walt accusingly. “This is your _ex_ -wife? Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of genius? If you drove this one away you’re a complete moron, Jesus, how are you not trying to get her back this very second what are you still doing talking to me?”

 

“I ask myself this all the time,” muttered Walt.

 

“I mean it,” said Saul, pulling out a pink handkerchief with a flourish and mock-dabbing away sweat from his brow. “What can possibly compare to this?” he said, gesturing to Skyler who was looking between him and Walt in disbelief.

 

“I’m right here you know,” said Jesse archly, coming back from the kitchen.

 

“Sorry kiddo, you know I think you’re the bee’s knees and all, but this is the whole thorax, abdomen and antennae right here.”

 

“Did you just call me an insect?” asked Skyler slowly.

 

“I will call you whatever and whenever you want.” Saul said magnanimously. “And may I say what a pleasure it is to finally put a face to the P.O. box. Hope you’ve been enjoying the ‘alimony,’ quote unquote.”

 

He reached into his breast pocket to hand her his card, which she read. She looked up from it, asking, “Goodman? Happy Chanukah.”

 

“Oh no no,” laughed Saul, waving her off. “I just use the Jew-thing because it adds legitimacy.”

 

Skyler looked him up and down, eyes narrowed. “Are you sure?”

 

Saul clapped his hands together. “And she’s quick too! Which begs the following question: what were you ever doing with our friend Walter?”

 

This time it was Walt who interjected with an incredulously: “I’m right here.”

 

He turned to Jesse. “Do we not exist?”

 

Jesse shrugged and cleared his throat. “Saul? Our discussion.”

 

“Oh right,” said Saul. He turned back to Skyler. “It wouldn’t be pleasure without business, am I right or am I right?”

 

“You are…something,” Skyler said wryly. She looked over at Walt and Jesse. “Dinner still on?” They both nodded. They frequently spent the evenings with Walt’s family so that Walt could see his kids as often as possible. Skyler grabbed her coat. “Stop by anytime after seven. Oh and Jesse, Junior asked me to remind you about some DVD you’re supposed to lend him? Perfect. Mr. Goodman it’s been…interesting.”

 

“I’ll say,” said Saul. “See you soon,” he called hopefully at her retreating back.

 

The front door swung shut and Saul chuckled to himself, swinging around to face Walt and Jesse, both watching him with identical expressions of ‘ _really_?’

 

“What?” shrugged Saul.

 

Walt just gave him a look and gestured to the living room where they all traipsed in and took a seat.

 

“So what I was discussing with your better half, just before you showed up with ‘better half round one,’ is that I think we can manage to funnel your money into rebuilding this school and still manage to keep it unsuspicious. And we all agree a duffel bag full of cash is off the table? Good. So Jesse here actually came up with the idea of a will.”

 

“You planning on going somewhere?” asked Walt. Jesse shushed him and pointed to Saul.

 

“To be more specific, the last will and testament of our dear departed Mr. Gustavo Fring,” Saul said carefully.

 

Walt froze on the sofa beside Jesse, unable to suppress the automatic reaction of anger at hearing the name. Jesse reached out and squeezed his hand.

 

Deep breaths, Jesse was right here beside him and no one had gotten hurt, whatever Gus had insinuated would happen if Walt didn’t go along with his plans.

 

“Go on,” he nodded to Saul.

 

“Well an anonymous donation would likely raise red flags. The money would get questioned and that’s the last thing we’d want. What we need is someone above reproach, someone legitimate, someone who’s in good standing. And since I don’t see anyone like that _here_ ,” Saul said blithely and Walt snorted. “Then that just leaves good ol’ Fring. Forge a will, sign his name, and Bob’s your uncle, Fanny’s your aunt, we now have an unimpeachable donation no one would think twice about.”

 

Walt stared at him so long Saul started to squirm. “Except you apparently.”

 

“Are you kidding? He’s the whole reason there’s a school-shaped crater in the playground to begin with,” Walt exploded.

 

“He was also that school’s former principle, has a reputation for community investments, a veritable shit-ton of money, and is the most legit option,” Saul said, spreading his hands.

 

“Did you happen to remember how he okayed having a meth lab beneath _his_ classroom?” Walt said angrily, gesturing to Jesse. “Where there were kids every day too?”

 

“Mr. White, it really is the way to go,” said Jesse.

 

“And wait this is _your_ idea?” asked Walt. “How can you possibly be okay with this?”

 

“You said you guys couldn’t come up with a solution,” Jesse said, jerking his head towards Saul. “So I did. And it actually makes a lot of sense, I mean no one would think twice about that kind of money if it came from him. Saul agreed and thinks it can be done.”

 

“Oh _Saul_ agreed, thank God for that,” said Walt insincerely. “And what about me? So not only does Fring get away with building a meth lab beneath an elementary school and almost killing you in the process, but now he gets to take the credit for rebuilding it? No way.”

 

“I figured you wouldn’t like it,” said Jesse hesitantly. “And you totally don’t have to do it. But you do have to agree it’s the best option we’ve had so far.”

 

Walt scowled at him. Jesse just looked back guilelessly in a way that wasn’t fooling Walt for a second.

 

Finally Walt snorted. “And since when are you so smart?”

 

Jesse’s lip twitched up. “Had some good teachers.”

 

Saul cleared his throat. “If that was supposed to be sweet it was lost on me. But just so I know, we _are_ going with ‘Nancy Drew and the Missing Will’ for this one?”

 

Walt gave a long sigh. “Fine. Whatever. Let some drug kingpin take posthumous credit for something he didn’t do by using my money.”

 

“Technically _his_ money,” mumbled Jesse. “He was the one paying you in the first place.”

 

Walt opened his mouth to object and shut it a second later. Jesse smiled a bit cynically.

 

“Yo, it’s the circle of life or whatever.”

 

Walt rolled his eyes. “Lesser known Disney lyrics I presume?” Jesse punched him gently.

 

“Well perfect,” said Saul amiably. “Now I know a guy who knows a guy and long story short, I happened to find out that J.P. Wynne Junior isn’t actually on his current ‘official’ will that they have. The school was still new and he was probably going to amend his will over the winter break or something. _So_ ,what we’re gonna do is go with Section 33 of the Intestacy Act.”

 

Saul barreled through Walt and Jesse’s blank looks going, “Basically he can make a backup ‘additional’ will or what have you, in case he dies an untimely death and doesn’t get around to amending his old will. It would be valid for only a certain amount of time but if they find it before the end of the year in which he came to his demise – less than a month for us – it’s completely legit and the law has to do whatever Fring says in it.” He grinned at them. “Of course it won’t be Fring saying it, it’ll be me and whoever I get to forge his signature, but you get the idea. Capisce?”

 

Walt and Jesse shrugged. This was Saul’s area.

 

“Close enough,” said Saul. “So the idea is he was feeling particularly generous towards his new educational venture and would state that two separate payments should be delivered to it in case of his untimely death. One at, oh let’s say the Christmas after his death because ‘tis the season, and one before New Year’s. He’s technically doing it for a school he imagines still exists, but when the school board gets the money, well, just a hunch but I imagine they’ll use it to rebuild it first. So two separate payments that’ll be wired from his account, which I can crack. Although, Maestro, I’m going to be needing your signature on the dates it happens so that your money can be transferred to join _his_ money, and it can all be timed.”

 

“I’ll look forward to your call,” said Walt.

 

“I assume you wait by the phone anyways,” said Saul standing up. “Gentlemen? I have a will to fake, a bank account to crack, and an IRS to fool, and if I’m going to get it done by New Year’s I should be on my way. Do we have a deal?”

 

Walt shook Saul’s hand and Jesse stood up so he could walk Saul to the door.

 

When he came back he was grinning. “Is it just me or have I not seen him repeat a suit once yet?”

 

“I wish I didn’t have to see those suits at all,” Walt said, getting up and stretching.

 

“Oh no?” asked Jesse walking over and hooking a thumb in the loop of Walt’s pants. “I thought neon green was totally your thing.”

 

“Hardly,” Walt snorted but he was smiling at Jesse. He bent down to kiss him before breaking off and saying, “That actually was a good idea. And you know I’m glad to do it.”

 

Jesse ran his hands up Walt’s arms. “I do. That’s why you’re my favourite.”

 

“Mmm, feeling’s mutual,” Walt said, bending down to kiss him again, hands sliding around Jesse’s waist.

 

Jesse kissed him back but gently placed a palm on his chest, pushing him away. “Don’t get too excited. We’re going to Skyler’s soon and I still need a shower.”

 

“What a coincidence,” said Walt widening his eyes. “I need one too.”

 

“I’m shocked,” Jesse drawled, giving Walt an admonishing look that was sort of ruined by how brightly his eyes were laughing at him.

 

They both headed upstairs, through the bedroom and into the main bathroom with its enormous steam shower that Walt hadn’t been able to resist splurging on. Jesse had laughed and called him a princess at first, but probably spent more time in there than Walt.

 

“For real though,” said Walt shaking his head and undoing his shirt. “I always need a shower after dealing with that guy.”

 

“He’s not that bad,” laughed Jesse while undoing his jeans. “And if he hadn’t been willing to shift around your money like he has, then you wouldn’t be able to buy things like, oh like a ridiculously extravagant steam shower for one thing.”

 

“Which you love, so get over it,” Walt said, holding the door of it open for Jesse. Jesse shucked off the rest of his clothes leaving them in a trail on the bathroom floor and walked in. Walt did the same and quickly followed, closing the door.

 

The water came on icy cold at first and both yelped. It heated up almost instantly, engulfing them in a cloud of steam but Jesse still looked up at Walt eyes wide. “What the fuck was that?”

 

“Probably the pipes,” mused Walt, grabbing some soap. “Since it’s getting colder. Oh hey did I tell you Skyler thinks it’ll snow this year?”

 

“No way!” said Jesse, reaching for the shampoo, squirting some in his palm. He held it up to Walt and waggled it mockingly. Walt swatted it away and Jesse smirked and began to scrub the shampoo into his own hair. “That would be cool.”

 

“It’s not going to happen,” said Walt long-sufferingly, the hot water beating down over his back. “The two of you I swear to God. When was the last time it snowed here? Bet you five bucks it doesn’t.”

 

“You’re on. And must have been back in your day, you know, when cells were still dividing and all that.”

 

“What – that’s – show some respect to your elders,” Walt growled, lightly tossing the soap at him.

 

“I will if you can show me a respectable elder,” Jesse grinned, soaping his sides. Flipping the soap around in his hands a few times he built up a lather and put the soap back. “You missed a spot.”

 

He gently ran his hands over Walt’s goatee, rubbing the soap into it, lightly caressing the whiskers, massaging Walt’s jaw, the hot water running down over them both, enveloping them. Walt swallowed and looked down at Jesse who looked heatedly up at him.

 

And in one moment he was yanking Jesse towards him while Jesse’s arms immediately went around him, slipping over the water, trying to find a hold, while their lips met furiously.

 

Walt’s hand slid down over Jesse’s back, cupping his ass. Jesse panted and pulled Walt closer, fingers digging into the wet skin. He broke off and bit down on Walt’s neck.

 

“We are going to be so late,” he breathed there. But it didn’t stop him from licking a long stripe over Walt’s pulse.

 

“Well then you’d better do exactly what I say, hadn’t you?” Walt growled into his ear, hands going to Jesse’s chest where he circled his thumbs roughly around Jesse’s nipple’s before pinching them – _hard_.

 

“Oh fuck,” Jesse moaned closing his eyes, water dripping off his hair. His skin was already flushed from the shower and his nipples stood out in a bright, angry red colour that made Walt go instantly, blindingly hard. Moaning a little he bent down to fix his mouth to one, rubbing it hungrily with his tongue. Pulling back he looked at Jesse with burning eyes.

 

“Turn around.”

 

Jesse shuddered and did as he was told, bracing his hands on the wall of the shower, the practically scalding water drumming down against his sides. When Walt came and stood behind him he was expecting to feel himself shoved into almost instantly and he relaxed, anticipating it.

 

But all he felt was Walt’s breath, hot on the back of his neck, breathing heavily, the ragged puffs of air sending blood rushing to his cock.

 

There were broad hands on his hips, rubbing soothing circles there, timed with Walt’s breathing. Then he felt Walt’s chest being pressed against him, hairs brushing over the smooth skin of his back. And then there were teeth on the back of his neck, biting down gently before being kissed roughly by a pair of firm lips.

 

His neck was being scratched by the wet warmth of Walt’s goatee, the feeling sending shivers down to his toes. He bucked forward helplessly against nothing. He was about to step forward, desperate to rub himself against the slippery smooth tiles of the shower wall when he felt Walt’s fingers dig sharply into his hips.

 

“Stay still.”

 

“Oh come on, Mr. White,” Jesse gasped.

 

Walt’s fingers stroked up and down Jesse’s hips, just inches away from Jesse’s quivering cock, which swelled every time they drew near. He could feel Mr. White’s hardness rubbing over the crevasse of his ass. And he swore he could _hear_ the bastard’s smirk when he murmured into Jesse’s ear: “Keep your hands on the wall.”

 

Jesse groaned in frustration, fingers tightening where they were splayed against the wall. “Oh my fucking God, Mr. White.”

 

He felt another kiss to the back of his neck, and Mr. White’s tongue darting out, licking the skin.

 

Walt licked down Jesse’s neck in one tantalizingly slow stroke, down between his shoulder blades. He leisurely ran his tongue around the skull tattoo several times making Jesse tremble, before continuing his path.

 

He dragged his tongue down the smooth, dripping wet skin of Jesse’s back, slowly licking down the ridges of Jesse’s spine in one smooth stroke getting lower and lower…

 

He licked over Jesse’s tailbone with the tip of his tongue, going even lower, reaching the top of Jesse’s ass, hands sliding back to spread the cheeks, tongue slipping down and –

 

“ _Holyfuckingshit_ ,” Jesse gave a strangled yell, hips stuttering, feeling Mr. White’s tongue lave over him. The soft pressure broke off as Walt pulled away.

 

“I thought I told you to hold still?”

 

Jesse gasped, his eyes clenched shut. And when the scratch of Mr. White’s goatee returned to his skin and he felt himself being licked over slowly, languidly, his hands scrabbled desperately at the shower wall.

 

“Oh fuck fuck fuck fuck _fuck_ ,” he choked out, forcing himself to stay still, quivering and clenching under the steady strokes of Walt’s tongue over where he was the most sensitive.

 

Jesse’s knees felt unbearably weak as he felt Mr. White’s tongue circle around him, over him, until its wet point was teasing his entrance. And slowly, gently, it was pushing in, withdrawing, teasing in again, and all of a sudden Jesse was being fucked by Mr. White’s tongue.

 

“Oh my – oh my God,” Jesse gasped, forehead falling to the damp shower wall, eyes falling closed, hot water running all over him, sliding over his shoulders, running down his back, trickling down in steady rivulets to where Mr. White had his face pressed against Jesse, tongue curling over, around and inside of him, Jesse becoming undone at each and every stroke.

 

Jesse’s cock was weeping, small, steady bursts of precome sliding down his length. There were too many sensations around him, the steam tickling his eyes, the showerhead drumming down over them both, Mr. White’s beard rasping over him, and his tongue which was flicking at Jesse’s entrance again, making Jesse push back against him.

 

“Mr. White, oh God, just do it already,” he whined.

 

“Do what exactly?” Walt hummed, licking out against Jesse again.

 

“You fucking know what just – oh Christ, fuck me,” Jesse moaned, his hands clenched in white-knuckled fists over the shower tiles.

 

“Fuck me ‘what’?” Walt purred.

 

“Fuck me _please_ you fucking dick, oh God just – please fuck me, Mr. White,” Jesse cried out, hips thrusting forward.

 

Walt stood up, arms circling desperately around Jesse’s waist. And pressing a kiss to Jesse’s shoulder he was sliding up into Jesse in one slick, rough stroke that had both men groaning and Jesse seeing stars.

 

Jesse felt completely full to the brim, clenching around Walt’s cock, burning up from the inside out.

 

“Like this?” Walt murmured against Jesse’s ear, buried to the hilt.

 

Jesse pushed back against him, needing him deeper, rolling his hips back. “Get on with it and I’ll let you know,” Jesse gasped.

 

Walt laughed a little brokenly. And tightening his arms around Jesse’s slippery waist he began thrusting into him in deep, fast strokes. The water rushed over and around them, covering their skin, heightening every sensation, every touch.

 

Jesse moaned in pleasure, throwing his head back. As overcome as he was he still couldn’t help grinning in disbelief at his life. He felt Walt’s hand slide lower and finally close around his aching cock, giving it a torturous pull.

 

“Don’t stop,” he said weakly, pulling in breaths against the heady steam of the shower.

 

Walt mumbled something incoherent against his neck and continued thrusting forward into Jesse who was pressed against the wall, rubbing his hand over Jesse’s cock.

 

“Ah, Mr. White I’m – I’m gonna come,” Jesse moaned, feeling a tingling in his spinal cord.

 

“Not yet,” growled Walt, squeezing harder around Jesse’s cock, pulling almost all the way out of Jesse before snapping back in one fast slide.

 

“Oh come on,” Jesse whined, cock swelling, the tingling in his spine travelling lower and lower.

 

“When I say so,” Walt said, and Jesse felt his voice rumbling his chest right where Jesse’s back was pressed.

 

“Well you better say so fucking fast man,” Jesse got out through gritted teeth, bucking faster into Walt’s hand, unable to bear the wet slickness of its grip for much longer.

 

“You want to come for me?” Walt gasped out, his thrusts becoming quicker, messier.

 

“ _Yes_ ,” Jesse choked out.

 

“What was that?” Walt breathed against Jesse’s neck.

 

“I wanna come,” Jesse moaned, his fingers scrabbling uselessly against the walls.

 

Walt rubbed his thumb over the tip of Jesse's cock. “Come for me, baby,” he murmured and Jesse was done for, shooting all over the tiles of the wall in sticky trails. And when he clenched down around Walt in the middle of his orgasm he felt Walt’s hands fly to his chest, pulling him harder against him as he stopped thrusting, stilled, and was coming in desperate pulses, his head buried in Jesse’s neck as he shook through his orgasm.

 

The stood heaving against the wall of the shower, tangled together, skin slick and flushed as the water beat down on them, washing away any evidence of their arousal.

 

Walt gently rubbed his palm over Jesse’s stomach, and Jesse pushed back so he could be closer to Walt’s chest. He covered Walt’s hand with his own. They stood like that deliriously pressed together, getting their breath back.

 

All too soon Walt was pulling away, reaching out to turn off the showerhead.

 

Jesse groaned in disappointment. “Where are you going?”

 

“You said it yourself,” Walt said, still a bit breathlessly, opening the shower door a crack to grab a couple of towels off the hook on the other side.

 

Jesse was still in a daze, completely fucked out. “Said what?”

 

Walt threw one of the towels at him and Jesse caught it absently. Walt started drying himself off, raising an eyebrow at Jesse.

 

“Let’s go. We’re gonna be late.”

 

Jesse sputtered in disbelief. Walt just winked.

 

“Well? What are you waiting for?”

 

“I swear to _God_ –“

 

Walt laughed as Jesse whipped his towel at him playfully. Dodging it, he pushed the door open wider, steam escaping into the bathroom.

 

“You coming with me?” Walt said, stepping out into the swirling mist, looking at Jesse innocently over his shoulder.

 

“You’re unbelievable,” Jesse muttered, shaking his head. But he was grinning ear-to-ear as he wrapped his towel around his waist. Like Mr. White even had to ask.

 

And grabbing the hand that Walt offered, Jesse stepped out to join him.


	3. Chapter 3

Walt dodged around a sale’s display, shopping bags hanging off each of his arms, looking around the crowded store, craning his neck over the herds of shoppers all doing their last-minute Christmas shopping.

 

Where the hell was Jesse? He squinted against the bright artificial light of the store. The sooner they got of this particular department store the better. He knew they’d be bombarded with Christmas music no matter which store they entered, but hopefully it wouldn’t be _quite_ as loud as it was in here. Good God, if the idea behind hammering incessantly upbeat carols into your brain at top volume was to drive you into some kind of frenzy of grabbing items to the beat, well mission accomplished. Walt had multiple bags swinging off each arm, the way Jesse’s kindergarten students would sometimes do whenever he’d stopped by that classroom to visit.

 

No sooner had he remembered this than he was almost stampeded over by a herd of teen girls. Well, ‘tweens’, Junior would have corrected him with, since they couldn’t have been over thirteen. But the point was, there were many of them and they’d practically knocked Walt over while bolting across the aisle of the store, shrieking at top volume, each with some kind of frappuccino confection in their hands. Christ, Walt hadn’t even been allowed coffee until he was sixteen, and nowadays it seemed to all be an accepted part of a balanced breakfast. At least judging by how many of his students walked into class with one in their hands, a fruitless exercise since he’d confiscate them anyways. Did Starbucks pay for product placement in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition? He wouldn’t be surprised.

 

Walt readjusted the bags on his arm, rolling his eyes faintly in the direction of the young shoppers, their high-pitched laughter trailing behind them. But it wasn’t without a slight pang in his heart. Holly would be that age one day. It was practically inconceivable. But if Junior’s development was anything to go by, Walt knew that one minute he’d be unbuckling his child from the car seat, and the next minute he’d be riding shotgun while this ‘child’ was learning to drive. All in the blink of an eye.

 

Looking back up he caught sight of Jesse wrestling his way through the crowd. As much of a people person as Jesse was, and as much as he liked socializing, shopping at the main Albuquerque mall was not socializing…it was doing battle.

 

“Oh God we have to get out of here,” Jesse said slightly breathless, hoisting a bag of what he’d just purchased. Walt could barely hear him over the speakers.

 

“My thoughts exactly,” said Walt, looking around for where they’d come in. Spying the exit he led them both through the large department store and back out into the bright mall, which although crowded, at least afforded them more space than the store. Both decompressed visibly.

 

“Get all your stuff?” Walt asked him.

 

Jesse glanced into his shopping bags. “Just about. I still need something for Holly and Marie. But there’s a store coming up where I should be able to get for both. Should be on the left coming up I think…yeah here we go.”

 

Jesse steered them into another department store that catered towards mothers and children. Still large, still pumping Christmas music, but much more subdued than the last store they’d been in. Jesse looked a little lost.

 

“Yo for real, how do you even shop for someone you’ve never met?” he asked, eyeing the clothing racks around him.

 

“Well you bought for Hank and you’ve never met him either,” Walt pointed out reasonably, referring to the coffee table book about the history of Albuquerque entitled ‘An A to Z of ABQ’ that Jesse had held up earlier in the day for Walt’s approval.

 

Jesse picked up a dress on a hanger with a bemused expression before putting it back, saying, “Yeah but he’s a dude, and they’re easier to shop for since I know what dudes like.”

 

Walt coughed genteelly and Jesse realized what he’d just said. “Perv,” he grinned at Walt. “But yeah you also told me about the kind of stuff he’s into, you know, reading, urban history or whatever, so it was easy. I still have no idea what Marie likes.”

 

Walt paused, thinking. “Clothes?” he offered, laughing at Jesse’s eye-roll.

 

When they all got together at Skyler’s house on Christmas in a few weeks it would be the first time Jesse would actually be meeting Walt’s in-laws. Former in-laws. What the hell: Walt’s family. The only reason he hadn’t met them yet is because Hank had been away for a couple of months, working on location in Mexico. And Marie, using her impressively hoarded days-off had decided to join him.

 

“It’s not gonna be Puerto Vallarta, babe,” Hank had warned her. “This isn’t some resort vacation with bottomless margaritas, we’re talking desert, desert, and hey look: more desert.”

 

Marie had been undeterred. “I’ve been meaning to go hiking more, it’ll be great. And if you think I can’t make my own margaritas you’re severely mistaken because who do you think taught you to make them in the first place, hmm?” And Hank had grumbled and complained in a way that everyone, including Marie, knew meant: ‘thank you for coming with me.’

 

Walt wasn’t sure what to expect when they all finally met. He wasn’t that worried about Marie, knowing she’d take one look at Jesse and immediately turn to Skyler, mock-fanning herself. But Hank was another story.

 

Oh it’s not that Jesse was a guy. Despite Hank wearing a cloud of locker-room bravado around him at all times, Walt was fully aware a lot of it was just for show. When he’d messaged Hank in Mexico with an email beginning ‘So this might sound a bit unexpected…’ Hank’s reply had been one that had predictably ribbed Walt from start to finish with exclamations like ‘what, you’re so unsatisfied with your own dick you had to go find another?’ But between the lines there was a genuine wish for Walt’s happiness. Walt knew that any macho swagger Hank applied in the mornings like cologne was a necessity in being taken seriously in a job like his. And that was the real part Walt was concerned about: not Hank, but rather, his job.

 

Hank would be fine with the idea of Walt and another guy. He was even fine with Walt and a _younger_ guy. But this younger guy being a former meth addict…well who knew. He welcomed former druggies into the bureau for tips on the street, he welcomed them into DEA-sponsored fundraises for rehab centers. But welcoming them into his own family? Walt just wasn’t sure.

 

But like he’d told Jesse who’d gone a bit wary on finding out Walt’s ex-brother-in-law’s occupation, they’d just have to see when the time came.

 

“Hey what do you think?” Jesse asked, shuffling over to a rack of scarves. Walt grunted something in response, lost in thought. Jesse draped one over his head like a milkmaid, batting his eyelashes at Walt to get his attention. Walt snorted.

 

“Very nice, Gretl.”

 

Jesse laughed but eyed the cashmere scarves more seriously. “Yeah these are cool I guess. Which one do you think for Marie?” he asked, taking down two and holding them up for Walt to see. Walt nodded at the one in Jesse’s right hand, and Jesse hung the green one back up, flinging the purple one around his neck so it wouldn’t get in the way while he kept perusing the store as he looked for something for Holly.

 

“You know you don’t have to get her something specifically from you, right?” Walt asked. “It’s not like she can read who things are from. She’s already getting a ton of stuff and we’re already saying they’re from ‘Walt and Jesse’.”

 

Jesse shrugged. “Yeah I know but…I haven’t had a proper, you know, ‘family Christmas’ or whatever in forever,” he said. He didn’t look at Walt but Walt could still see his jaw tighten. Jesse didn’t talk much about his family but from what Walt had gleaned from Jesse’s stories, how Jesse was still barely welcome back home despite getting cleaned up, yeah…Walt didn’t think too fondly of them either.

 

Jesse glanced up, looking a little gratified at Walt’s expression of displeasure. But he lightened his voice a bit, adding, “And besides, it’s kind of fun, picking stuff out. Oh snap, Corduroy books! Okay we’re done, totally getting those. Well maybe some baby clothes too…” he muttered, looking around the selection. “Oh man how cute would it be to give _actual_ corduroys too, I hope they have some….”

 

As he dug around through the selection of baby clothes, holding up different onesies and overalls, eyeing them critically, Walt watched him with a very specifically-rooted softness that caught him off guard.

 

“Do you ever…think about it?” Walt asked quietly, walking casually over to the other side of the bin Jesse was rummaging through, facing him.

 

Jesse looked up, forehead creasing. “Think about what?”

 

“You know,” Walt nodded to the baby clothes in Jesse’s hands. “Some of…some of your own?” He spoke lightly but it didn’t fool Jesse who slowly lowered the onesie he was holding, looking at Walt pensively.

 

“Well…in general I mean sure,” he said carefully. “Who doesn’t?”

 

“More people than you’d expect,” Walt said. “But I mean…you know,” he met Jesse’s eyes. “With us?”

 

Jesse fidgeted slightly with the clothes he was holding, a faint flush starting to creep up his neck. His lips quirked up though as he mumbled, “Well I’d – I’d be lying if I said I _never_ thought about it.”

 

Walt nodded, waiting for Jesse to continue. Jesse looked at him softly as he added, “But I know you already thought you were done with it before Holly came along. And she’s around now and – I know you love her but I also know you weren’t planning on her and sure weren’t planning on more at this point.”

 

Walt swallowed, looking down into the bin of clothes. He knew he didn’t have anything to feel guilty about but here was Jesse, so great with kids and Walt, for all intents and purposes done with having more altogether, and something about it didn’t seem fair.

 

“Hey,” Jesse said and Walt looked back up. Jesse was smiling slightly. “You know I love her though, and I’d do anything for her like I was her own dad…or that uncle with a dubiously criminal past.” Jesse cocked his head like he was thinking about something and added “Allegedly.” Walt snorted.

 

“But really though,” Jesse continued, reaching out for Walt’s fingers which were absently resting in the bin of baby clothes, giving them a light squeeze. “I mean yeah it’s something I pictured for myself but…just because I was picturing it doesn’t mean it’s meant to happen. I mean hey,” he said laughing. “It’s not like I ever pictured falling head over heels for some guy twice my age with a giant stick up his ass either but that’s worked out okay.” He grinned as Walt dug his fingers into Jesse’s unnecessarily hard in protest. “And the fact that that guy already has a family that,” Jesse swallowed. “That he lets me be a part of? It’s more than I ever could have asked for,” he finished in a rush, voice getting a bit throaty.

 

Walt couldn’t help the rush of relief and love that poured through him from Jesse just…understanding. He rubbed his thumb over Jesse’s in thanks.

 

“And besides,” Jesse said, straightening up a little. “When I’m teaching? It’s like having thirty kids at once. I don’t know, man,” he shrugged. “Doesn’t really feel like I’m missing much these days,” he said, sending a soft smile Walt’s way.

 

Walt was suddenly too choked up to manage saying anything in return. He settled for reaching out to the end of the purple scarf still slung around Jesse’s neck, gently tugging Jesse towards him and kissing him softly over the bin of clothes.

 

They stayed there for a few moments, Walt still holding onto the scarf, Jesse’s lips parting easily under his. They held the kiss a moment longer and separated slowly, Jesse’s eyes still shining a little at Walt. Walt cleared his throat.

 

“You gonna be okay to pick something out here? I’ve got a couple, uh, other things to take care of.”

 

Jesse raised an eyebrow. “Oh is that so? Not thinking of what to get me by any chance, are you?” he teased. Walt just shrugged innocently.

 

“Well just so you know, if you were thinking of doing something extra-special, I’ve always thought you look good in red,” Jesse said, winking lasciviously. Walt blushed and Jesse’s grin grew wider. “Yeah that shade right there, that’s _perfect_.” Walt gave Jesse the finger but he was laughing.

 

“Meet back by the entrance at two?” Walt asked, trying to work his smile back down.

 

“Yeah sounds good,” Jesse said. Walt turned on his heel, exiting the store.

 

The second he was out in the main area of the mall, he let the smile come back with a vengeance. God, he didn’t deserve to be so happy lately. But he was and hell if he was going to let anything ruin it.

 

He continued his Christmas shopping for the presents Jesse wasn’t allowed to see yet, making a couple of unplanned stops into other stores, depending on if he saw anything interesting in the window. Walt normally hated shopping but he felt like he was on cloud nine going into every single store.

 

Making his way back to their rendezvous point Walt heard someone call out ‘Mr. White!’

 

He looked around and smiled genuinely when he saw two of his students running up to him.

 

“Well hey, Merry Christmas Break! How’s the shopping going?”

 

“Good,” answered the one named Adam. “What are you buying?”

 

“Oh you know, stuff for the family,” Walt answered shaking his bags slightly. “You guys excited for school to start up again?” he asked, raising his eyebrows cartoonishly.

 

The other one named Jack snorted. “Oh yeah. Totally.”

 

Walt laughed and they began making general small talk, Walt asking how their parents were doing, his students asking for hints about next semester’s tests. After a few minutes he was about to say goodbye and turn to go when he felt hand squeeze his shoulder. And when Jesse sidled right up next to him he couldn’t help it: he froze.

 

“There you are – oh hey, guys!”

 

“Jesse!” they beamed at him, completely delighted, abandoning their interrogation of Walt about possible exam answers. They were part of the class of Walt’s who had gotten to know Jesse a little better over the semester. Getting stuck on a mountaintop for four days had helped. That entire was group might as well have been an unofficial fan club of Jesse’s, judging by how completely thrilled they were every time Jesse stopped by the class.

 

The two students started chatting enthusiastically with Jesse, Jesse listening attentively to them but sliding his hand off of Walt’s shoulder so casually no one would have noticed it was there in the first place. Walt was no longer tuned in though, and was instead standing stock-still, fighting to keep his breathing under control.

 

Jesse looked at him out of the corner of his eye. “Well nice to see you guys, we’d better get going but hey, Merry Christmas!”

 

“Merry Christmas, Jesse! Merry Christmas, Mr. White!”

 

“Nice kids,” Jesse said. He turned to Walt who was avoiding Jesse’s gaze. Jesse’s mouth tightened almost imperceptibly.

 

“Ready to go?”

 

Walt just nodded, completely embarrassed by his reaction but not wanting to bring it up. Jesse stared at him like he was waiting for something. But when Walt kept looking aimlessly around the mall, looking everywhere but Jesse, Jesse just nodded emotionlessly.

 

“I’ll drive.”

 

 

***

 

Getting back into their front hall and dumping their shopping bags on the floor, Jesse stalked past Walt heading straight to the kitchen.

 

“Jesse,” Walt called after him beseechingly. He sighed and took his coat off, flinging it over the bannister before heading into the kitchen where he found Jesse leaning against the counter, shoulders hunched. “Jesse,” he said again.

 

Jesse barely lifted his head. “You mind telling me what the hell that was all about?” he asked, barely speaking above his normal volume, but the words still laced with a low fury.

 

“Jesse it’s really nothing to worry about it was…it was just nothing,” Walt implored him.

 

“Nothing?” Jesse laughed in disbelief. “Sure I guess, if ‘nothing’ means you practically having a panic attack just because two of your students saw us shopping together.” He looked over at Walt, eyes hard. “You acting like you’re about to bolt just because I touched your shoulder? Didn’t feel like nothing from where I was standing.”

 

“It’s not that, Jesse, it’s really not, that’s not what it was at all –“

 

“Oh really,” said Jesse. “That wasn’t you freaking out because now a couple students might possibly draw the conclusion that we’re together?”

 

Walt opened his mouth but he didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t deny it, but Jesse also didn’t get that it wasn’t about _him_ , it was about Walt.

 

“Jesse it’s just, I need people to take me seriously and –“ he broke off, knowing how awful the words sounded, echoing in the kitchen. God what was _wrong_ with him, why couldn’t he even get it out?

 

Jesse looked at him, his eyes flashing, his mouth a hard line. “Well. Thanks a lot. I mean I guess we never really totally discussed what the ‘telling people’ policy was, but I guess I just _assumed_ it wouldn’t involve you being embarrassed to even be _seen_ with me. Great, that’s just great.”

 

“I’m _not_ embarrassed about you, Jesse, I’m – it would be embarrassing for _me_ if –“

 

“If what?” Jesse burst out. “What the hell do you have to be embarrassed about? Because I’m a _guy_? Because I used to be a druggie? Because –“

 

“Because you used to be my _student_ ,” Walt exploded.

 

Jesse stared at him, mouth open. Walt barreled on, the words he couldn’t say before all of a sudden spilling out in waves.

 

“Don’t you get it? I’m a teacher who’s with his ex-student and you don’t think I should be even a little worried about what that looks like?” Walt pleaded.

 

“But…but it’s not _like_ that,” Jesse said, in genuine shock. “I mean we both know it’s not like that at all!” It was the reason that however much they joked with each other, Jesse had never once joked about Mr. White ‘wanting him ever since high school’, or something in that vein. Not only did Jesse know it would be disgustingly unfunny, but it wouldn’t have had the slightest basis in truth either.

 

“Yeah _we_ know that,” said Walt, laughing a bit wildly. “You think other people will see it that way? They’ll see Mr. White and his much younger boyfriend, and then the whispering will start, and then it’ll be ‘did you _hear_ he used to be a student?’ And then it’ll be ‘I heard he still calls him ‘Mr. White’ can you believe it…’

 

Walt looked at Jesse desperately. “And then it’ll be wondering when it all started and people asking themselves how can they really be _sure_ things only started this year.”

 

Jesse suddenly felt nauseous. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say.

 

“But forget them, what happens when my students find out? If I fail the wrong person? And all of a sudden some dumb jock decides he’s going to get back at me by saying I offered to pass him if he…if he…” Walt’s hand suddenly flew to his mouth, eyes welling up, unable to even continue the idea. Jesse wanted to reach out, touch his shoulder, but Walt was pulling his hand away from his mouth taking in a shuddering breath and looking at Jesse, eyes streaming.

 

“And they’d have to believe it wouldn’t they?” he choked out. “Because hey, isn’t he currently in a relationship with one of his old students _now_?”

 

Walt sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, hands back to his face, covering his eyes as he rubbed his forehead.

 

Jesse stood in the kitchen blindsided. He felt sick. Not just because of the idea, not because of Walt was suggesting, but because the idea had never once even _occurred_ to Jesse. And here was Mr. White, worried enough about it that he couldn’t even bring it up without this reaction.

 

Jesse walked over pulling up a chair beside him, slightly dazed. They sat at the table for a long time, not looking at each other.

 

Jesse finally angled himself towards Walt.

 

“How long has this been bothering you?” he asked gently.

 

Walt drew in a breath. “Not really that long. I just…I’d thought about it once but told myself I was being ridiculous. But bumping into those students just…I guess I hadn’t dismissed the idea as much as I thought I had.”

 

Jesse nodded. “You know…you know what you’re talking about is like…the _worst_ case scenario, right? Like the odds of something like that happening are such a tiny percent?”

 

Walt dragged his hand across his face, leaning his chin in it, smiling humorlessly at Jesse. “So is getting lung cancer when you’re not a smoker.”

 

Jesse felt a pang and an irrational desire to protect this man even though he’d already seen so much.

 

Walt raised an eyebrow. “What, you’re going to tell me it doesn’t look as bad as I think it does?”

 

Jesse matched his pose, leaning forward, his jaw resting in his palm. “No. It looks pretty fucking bad.”

 

And he knew Mr. White’s worrying wasn’t unfounded in the slightest. If a musician’s nightmare was breaking a finger, and a surgeon’s nightmare was someone dying under their scalpel, a teacher’s biggest nightmare was every being accused of exactly what Mr. White was suggesting. There was a reason there were so many procedures you learned as a teacher, especially when you were a male. Don’t hug any students: go for the high five or a fist-bump if you were particularly ‘hip’. A student asks to see you alone in your class after school? Let the teacher in the classroom next to yours know you’d both be in there. Leave the door ajar. Be visible from the doorway if possible. Always. Cover. Yourself.

 

Jesse knew these rules belonged there for a very good reason. They were there for the teachers’ protection, and more importantly, they were there for the students’ protection as well. But the whole idea, the whole concept of not being able to hug a crying student because it wasn’t ‘appropriate’ always seemed – to Jesse – to be rooted in the sickest kind of cynicism. But that’s how seriously the idea was taken. And Mr. White was right. In their circumstance? It looked bad.

 

Walt huffed out a laugh of agreement but his eyes were still vacant. Jesse practically wanted to cry.

 

“It’s…I don’t even know what to say. It’s just…that would just be so – so _wrong_ of people,” he said quietly, throat closing up as he looked at Mr. White. “I – I’m so sorry. I can’t believe I never thought about it.”

 

Walt’s mouth turned up a little. “Because you see the best in people. I don’t.”

 

Jesse felt awful. That anyone could look at the best situation he’d ever been in and find something sick about it, something to probe at with grasping fingers, looking to twist it into something obscene. But as awful as he felt, he felt worse for Mr. White. Even though they were both adults, there was no question that Mr. White would be looked at as the ‘adult’ adult. Mr. White had his pride. And Jesse knew that he’d never recover from an accusation like that, whether it was disproved or not. He’d been too embarrassed to even bring it up with Jesse in the first place.

 

“Can I tell you what I think?” Jesse asked tentatively. Mr. White made a go-ahead motion. “I don’t think anyone would do that. That’s not me being naïve, I really don’t think anyone would do that.” Mr. White looked at him skeptically and Jesse gave a weak smile. “I mean face it, you used to be a total dick to your students. And has one of them ever tried to get back at you by using administration before? No. If the idea of ‘hey let’s accuse Mr. White for –‘ well, you know…but if the idea of it had never occurred to a student before you met me, I highly doubt it would occur to one just because they found out you’re with me.’

 

Mr. White didn’t really look much more relaxed so Jesse pressed on. “And ‘k, I know this’ll sound super insensitive, but I _especially_ doubt a guy would ever do that, which is what you’re worried about. Because the kind of guy who’s enough of a tool to do a thing like that? That’s not usually the kind of guy who’d be okay with his reputation being ruined by even like, the _suggestion_ of anything even remotely gay happening in his airspace.” Walt cracked a smile.

 

“And also?” Jesse said more gently. “I don’t think people’s minds will jump to that when they look at us, regardless of what they know or not. Okay, they might find the age-difference thing weird, but the fact that I was a student? I don’t know I just, I don’t see people reacting to it like that. Because at the end of the day we _are_ both adults, however much of a baby you are when you cut yourself shaving.” Walt choked out a startled laugh and immediately pressed it down but Jesse already felt lighter. He leaned in, placing his hand over Mr. White’s.

 

“I know it’s still not a perfect world but it’s different now from when you were in high school. Hell, it’s different from when _I_ was in high school. People are more accepting, and even if they’re not, if anything they’re more willing to be. So what might look shady to you through your glasses - ” Jesse broke off, looking at them quizzically. “I was gonna go with a metaphor there but those actually could use a cleaning.” Walt snorted again but he was looking at Jesse in something close to disbelief. “But the point is, you might still see the world the way it was when you were growing up. And that’s totally chill. But I see it the way it is now…which is better. And that’s not me seeing the best in people,” Jesse shrugged. “That’s just me seeing people.”

 

Mr. White was looking at the table and Jesse sat up a little straighter, his voice getting brisk, businesslike. “But you’re right, so to be on the safe side the first thing we do tomorrow is email Carmen. No, we’ll call her, and you’ll ask to meet up. I’ll join if she wants me to. We’ll stay ahead of it, you’ll be open about us, you’ll let her know your concerns. And she’s fucking brilliant, she’ll be able to come up with some contingency plan that anticipates not only _if_ something like that ever happened, but how to make sure everyone gets treated fairly in the process, not just you. And then you and me we’ll plan for…for whatever you want. If you want your students to assume you have no personal life that’s fine, if you want to keep photos of us on your desk that’s fine too, if you want to drag me to your class and introduce me to everyone as your lover you can barely keep up with and who can do really amazing things with his thighs, I’m fine with that too. Okay maybe not that last one, please don’t do that.” Walt was full-on laughing now as he looked at Jesse as though he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Jesse smiled. “But the point is…I’ll be with you either way. No matter what.”

 

All of a sudden his hand was being squeezed like it was in a vice. “What?” He asked in alarm.

 

Walt was holding onto Jesse desperately as though he were afraid Jesse would float away if he let go. He seemed choked-up but not the way he had when he was burning up with shame when telling Jesse his worst fears. It was the same face he’d given Jesse back in the store when they were talking about kids, right before Walt had reeled him in, kissing Jesse right there in the sale’s section for all the world to see because he couldn’t wait to get home to do it.

 

“You know what I was just thinking today?” Walt asked. Jesse tilted his head. Walt gave him a watery smile and placed a palm over his cheek. “How much I don’t deserve you.”

 

Jesse placed his hand over Walt’s. “You deserve me more than anyone,” he said. And remembering something Walt had told him months ago, he looked at Walt and said simply, “You’re it for me.”

 

Walt smiled and let go of Jesse’s hand. But a moment later he was pulling Jesse in towards him and wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Jesse held him back and they sat there wrapped in a hug, arms circled around each other, breathing each other in. They were together now, it wasn’t like Walt couldn’t have kissed him. But the fact was simply that sometimes? You really just need a hug.

 

And Jesse, tightening his arms around Walt’s waist, was more than willing to give that to him.

 

They sat there for a few minutes, Jesse rubbing Walt’s back, relieving whatever tension he could, Walt holding Jesse less desperately but still tightly, just for the sheer need of being physically close.

 

Eventually they pulled away, arms still tangled a little. Walt let out a rattling sigh before looking at Jesse with a weak smile.

 

“I don’t know about you but I could use a bath, a movie, and some sleep.”

 

Jesse smiled and thumbed his wrist a little. “Twist my arm why don’t you.”

 

And so they went upstairs and stayed in the bath for ages, Jesse leaning back against Walt’s chest, Walt’s arms around him, steam rising, their eyes closed, skin to skin, no barriers whatsoever. It felt a little more normal.

 

They abandoned the movie idea and instead made love for hours on top of their king-sized bed, not even bothering to pull back the covers, not needing to be wrapped up in anything but each other. Things felt even more normal then.

 

And lying together in the dark afterwards Jesse turned his head towards Walt because he had to say it:

 

“So I guess now is a bad time to ask if I should start calling you Walt?’

 

And when Walt sputtered out a noise of disbelief, catching Jesse in a headlock while Jesse laughed with abandon for so long that the only way Walt could shut him up was by kissing him…

 

Things couldn’t get more normal than that.


	4. Chapter 4

The morning sun came in through Walt and Jesse’s living room, reflecting off the lights of the Christmas tree. They sent icy, sparkling sunspots twinkling around the walls, dancing in the glass of the windows. Two mugs of cocoa lay abandoned on the coffee table, forgotten from the night before. The base of the tree was practically obscured by brightly coloured packages. And the radio that had been left on all night was cheerily announcing to the world that it was Christmas morning.

 

But two people didn’t hear it because they were still upstairs, locked together, rocking into one another, oblivious to anything besides the push and pull of their bodies.

 

Up in the bedroom, Jesse threw his head back and gasped out a breathless moan, fingers tightening over Mr. White’s arms, pulling him closer.

 

“Yeah – oh yeah right there just like that,” he panted as Walt dragged a hand over their cocks which were pressed flushed together. Walt loosened his hold, rubbing them lightly, and then harder when Jesse bucked into him.

 

Jesse tipped his head to the side, eyes clenched shut in arousal, pressing delirious kisses to the side of Walt’s face, searching for his mouth. When Walt turned his head to press their lips together, Jesse made a whimpering sound and clumsily kissed him back. Both were already so far gone the most they could manage was desperately sliding their lips together, breathing heavily, keeping their mouths as locked together as possible.

 

Jesse let go of Mr. White’s biceps, raising his shaking fingers to Mr. White’s face and stroking it, fingers leaving burning trails over Walt’s cheeks.

 

Their lips parted for a moment as they panted, hips still thrusting together.

 

“Oh God, Mr. White,” Jesse choked out, hands practically going numb in arousal.

 

Walt groaned leaning back in to kiss Jesse messily. While one hand slid around to Jesse’s back, drawing him closer, the other continued to jerk them deftly together, spikes of pleasure jolting through him at every rub of skin on skin. When he felt Jesse’s hands leave his face and Jesse’s arms wrapping around his shoulders he deepened the kiss, their tongues sliding together agonizingly, his broad hand tightening over their cocks.

 

They were on their sides, slick with sweat and rutting together like their lives depended on it. Neither was sure when a lazy, leisurely, mutual relief of morning wood had gradually morphed into a frenzied, aching need that burned under the skin, seeping right into their bone marrow. Walt could barely differentiate whose limbs were whose anymore, wrapped together as they were, hands running clumsily over each other and tugging each other closer and closer, like having every square inch of skin touching already somehow wasn’t enough. Jesse was rubbing himself up into Mr. White’s big hands, hips gyrating in want. His eyes were closed in bliss as his arms tightened around Mr. White like he wanted to disappear forever into him, have every last one of his molecules absorbed by Mr. White.

 

Walt managed to tear himself away from Jesse’s slick, flushed lips to rub their foreheads together. He panted over Jesse’s mouth, one hand reaching up to cup the back of Jesse’s head.

 

“What do you want,” he breathed. “Tell me what you want.”

 

Jesse felt almost out of his mind, Mr. White was permeating every last one of his senses.

 

“I want…I want…,” he choked out, his mind unable to even complete the thought with their bodies undulating together, pulsing like a wave. He wanted everything and somehow nothing else in the world.

 

“You,” he finally managed to get out, while Walt licked a trail down Jesse’s jaw. “Oh God, I want you so bad.”

 

Walt’s hips gave a spasm and he lifted his head staring breathlessly at Jesse. He released his grip on their cocks and Jesse let out a noise of complaint. But Walt was already sliding a hand around to cup Jesse’s ass and pull him closer, their cocks pressed together, trapped between their stomachs as Walt’s fingers dug into Jesse’s skin. They rocked together letting out a simultaneous moan, the change in pressure washing over them sending a spark shooting straight down from spine to toe.

 

“You’ve got me,” Walt moaned, hands running over Jesse’s back reaching everywhere he could possibly touch. “You’ve got me.”

 

Jesse thrust harder against him, cock dragging over the groove in Walt’s hips. Oh God that – that worked. He began fucking against that very place, hands losing their grip on Walt’s back which was coated with sweat.

 

“Mine,” he panted, fingers scrabbling as he desperately tried to pull Mr. White closer. Mr. White’s cock was pressed heavily against him and he could feel it heaving and weeping at every rub of their bodies, oh _fuck_ they were both so close.

 

Walt’s arms tightened around Jesse’s body whose lean lines were thrusting spasmodically against Walt’s entire body, lips parted and flushed, practically glowing in the early morning sunlight, Jesus Christ, if Walt was dreaming he didn’t ever want to wake up.

 

“I want you too,” he groaned huskily, a hand running through Jesse’s hair. Jesse let out a strangled variation of _yes_. “I always want you, I want you all the time, oh God I want you so much,” he gasped out, a stream of consciousness from his mind to Jesse’s swollen cock. “I want you to come, I – _God_ , Jesse, I…I…”

 

And their arms were frantically wrapping harder around the other, fingers flexing desperately, hips bucking harder, cocks straining against each other, breath huffing, moans getting louder, thrusts getting messier until finally –

 

Jesse’s whole body jerked and the feeling sent a shudder straight through Walt who crushed Jesse to his chest as a sudden splash of warmth burst out between them. Jesse groaned and blindly tipped his head up to Mr. White who kissed him forcefully. Their orgasm pulsed together, arousal mingled and dripping down the length of their cocks which were grazing together with every last, desperate jolting of their hips.

 

Gradually they stopped shaking, coming down from the high, bodies still slapped together stickily, hearts pounding in unison.

 

Walt turned his eyes deliriously onto Jesse’s, somehow finding the coordination to reach up and cup his jaw with a warm, wide hand. Jesse’s lips parted of their own accord and Walt took advantage by leaning in, his head spinning, giving Jesse a bleary kiss.

 

Jesse gave a dazed grin underneath Walt’s lips. He felt winded but Mr. White’s body pressed against his, heaving and flushed, was all the oxygen he needed.

 

Their lips rubbed together once more, tiredly but intently. And letting their heads fall back to the mattress they stared at each other a little foggily, and completely satisfied.

 

“Well,” Walt breathed, absently reaching out for Jesse’s touch, their legs tangled, sweat and stickiness beginning to cool against their skin.

 

Jesse smiled, leaning into him. “Merry Christmas?” he offered.

 

Walt huffed out a delirious laugh and leaned in to match him, their faces nestled together.

 

“Sounds about right.”

 

 

***

 

The next time that greeting was uttered was when they walked into Skyler’s, later that afternoon. They’d had their own Christmas morning together, eating breakfast, opening their presents to each other, which included a lot of clothes, novels, and some silver cufflinks for Walt. Walt smiled when he opened them, recognizing the pair from when he’d gone into the same store buying a slim silver chain for Jesse, which Jesse opened in delight. Apart from clothes, both seemed to have been shopping along the lines of ‘work and play.’ There was a swap of general teaching supplies, but Jesse had also given Walt a new leather briefcase, and Walt had given Jesse a new knapsack for his things, to replace the ridiculously tattered one Jesse had been using all semester. With ‘work’ covered, the presents got progressively more…well…Walt was just glad they were having their own gift exchange before heading over to join his family. Some of this stuff he would just as soon have _not_ opened in front of his children.

 

As much as both would have liked to have…tested some of their new presents, they had to get ready since Skyler was expecting them to help out with the dinner.

 

“Merry Christmas!” Skyler greeted them, flinging open the door. And kissing both of their cheeks she added in the same breath: “Walt if you could start setting the table that would be _great_. Jesse, Junior’s in the kitchen peeling carrots, if you could get started on the potatoes it would be a _big_ help…”

 

Walt and Jesse exchanged an amused glance before stepping inside, where it smelled deliciously like turkey and spices. Skyler had a Christmas jazz CD going that Walt recognized as one he’d given her a long time ago. He had an almost out-of-body experience. This was the first time he _hadn’t_ woken up in this house for Christmas morning with his family. He remembered how he would sneak into Junior’s room at night to slip a stocking under his bed. Skyler would have done the same thing this year. Junior would always open his on his mattress before going into the master bedroom to wake up his parents and watch them open theirs. This time it would have been just Skyler, with Holly watching the action from her crib.

 

It was still…strange to Walt, having this kind of removal from the source of his family home life. He and Skyler had separated long ago, but they had still been living with each other until quite recently. It was what he was used to.

 

But coming inside, swooping up Holly in his arms on his way to the dining room, spying Jesse and Junior exchanging a seamless fist-bump before starting on the vegetables, chatting animatedly while they peeled them, Skyler flitting around making corrections, Jesse and his son swapping knowing eye-rolls at each other…

 

…getting used to this kind of scene wasn’t hard at all.

 

Walt continued setting the table for six people, Holly propped up in one arm. He let her set her own place at her high chair, encouragingly murmuring where each utensil went, not that she understood a word. My God, she got bigger every day.

 

“ _Very_ clever, Holly,” he exclaimed when she dropped a wooden fork on her tray, somewhere in the general vicinity it was supposed to be. “You know your older brother? He _still_ doesn’t know what side the fork goes on, you’ll have to show him, it’s quite sad really…”

 

“I can hear you,” Junior said defensively from the kitchen, reaching up to turn a dial on the stove. “Oh _shit_ ,” he blurted out as he accidentally knocked an empty pot off a shelf.

 

Jesse caught it one-handed and deftly swung it up onto the counter as though it had never happened. “You know it took your dad like a month to realize you could open things in new tabs instead of new windows? Look at his laptop, it’s like five-thousand little windows open at once, I don’t know how he doesn’t get a stroke looking at it.” He winked at Walt while chopping vegetables.

 

“Dad you do not,” laughed Junior. “For real?”

 

“What have I told you about listening to Jesse tell stories about me? They’re all BS,” Walt protested, hefting Holly to his other arm so he could set out places on the other side of the table. “I know perfectly well what a ‘tab’ is, I just _choose_ to use different windows because it’s easier to see everything I’m working on all at once, that’s _all_.”

 

Junior looked at Jesse aghast. “Is he serious?”

 

Jesse nodded. “Unfortunately he means it.”

 

Both laughed and continued peeling and chopping, chopping and peeling, whispering to each other, taking turns to look back at Walt.

 

“I _know_ you’re doing the thing where you’re actually saying nothing but you’re pretending you’re talking about me,” Walt said. Both gave him a blank look and turned back to the counter, continuing to whisper. Walt rolled his eyes but he was really trying not to grin. Jesse and his son had gotten along pretty much the first time they met with absolutely no preamble whatsoever. Junior had been an only child for so long. And while Hank fulfilled the role of ‘cool uncle’ more than anyone could, Walt was pretty sure Junior looked up to Jesse in a ‘cool older brother’ capacity. And when Walt had driven out with his son to get ice cream and have a ‘man to man’ talk where he explained that he and Jesse were moving in together, Junior didn’t even bat an eye.

 

Walt swallowed now in the dining room, remembering it. He looked away from Junior’s back as Holly reached out for his glasses, turning to smile at her. He had some good kids.

 

“Walt,” he heard Skyler call from the bedroom. “Could you come in and help me with these boxes?”

 

“Sure,” he called back. “Jesse, wanna grab her?”

 

Jesse turned away from the counter, wiping his hands on his jeans, walking over to the island dividing the kitchen and dining room. Walt handed her over and Jesse gently adjusted her in his arms.

 

“Hey, kiddo, you miss me?” he grinned at full wattage, looking down at her and beginning to make faces.

 

Walt watched them softly and Jesse looked up smiling at him, jerking his head towards Walt’s old bedroom.

 

“Skyler wants you,” he said, amused. Walt just smiled, reaching out to slide a hand through Jesse’s hair and tweak Holly’s cheek in one motion, before walking away to help his ex-wife.

 

Soon enough everything was ready. They’d be eating dinner with Hank and Marie, after that there’d be more presents all together, and after that probably cards, eggnog, and trying not to fall asleep while they digested. Skyler slid the turkey into the oven and right on time Walt heard the Schrader’s car pulling up into the driveway. Skyler and Junior headed over to the door and Jesse followed Junior out of the kitchen slowly, coming to a stop a little behind Walt.

 

Walt glanced back and slid an arm around Jesse’s shoulder, pulling him in.

 

“It’ll be fine,” he mumbled into Jesse’s hair before pressing a quick kiss there.

 

Jesse exhaled. “I know.”

 

And then the door was bursting open and the volume in the house was suddenly intensified with welcoming the Schraders back from their work-vacation in Mexico.

 

“You look so _tan_ ,” exclaimed Skyler, kissing her sister. “Did you use sunblock at all while you were down there?”

 

“I tan naturally, you know this,” was Marie’s chipper response before swiveling to kiss Junior on both cheeks. “Merry Christmas, handsome! Grab these for me, would you?”

 

“Merry Christmas, Aunt Marie,” Junior said, reaching out for a swinging bag full of presents.

 

Straightening up, Marie looked over at where Walt and Jesse were still standing a little behind the crowd. Her eyes widened.

 

“ _Speaking_ of handsome…Walt, this isn’t _the_ Jesse we’ve been hearing about?”

 

Jesse stepped forward grinning a bit awkwardly. “Nice to meet you, Mrs. Schrader” he said, shaking her hand.

 

“Let’s not even act like it’s gonna be Mrs. Schrader. I’m Marie and it is a _pleasure_ to finally meet you,” she said, eyes lighting up and biting back a grin at the tattoo on Jesse’s hand that was shaking hers. “You are…exactly what I pictured, oh my goodness Skyler said you were a looker but handsome doesn’t even do it justice. But I have something I want to ask you, in all seriousness,” she said lowering her voice.

 

Jesse froze a little. “Yeah?”

 

Marie leaned in. “What the hell are you doing with _Walt_?” She sent him a wicked grin.

 

There was silence for a moment and Jesse huffed out a laugh of relief, rubbing a hand over his head, smiling at Walt.

 

“Well…like you said,” he said a bit quietly. “Handsome doesn’t even do it justice.”

 

Marie clasped a hand to her heart. “Oh I _like_ you. _Hank_ ,” she called out the open door. “What the hell is taking you so long?”

 

“Maybe because you stuck me with about eighteen things, while you only have one,” Hank said, swinging into view in the doorway. “Quick,” he said, wearing a shark-like grin beneath a pair of sunglasses, carrying a stack of boxes. “Somebody grab my package.”

 

Skyler groaned while Junior laughed delightedly, going in to grab some of the boxes from his uncle. ‘Merry Christmases’ were exchanged and the group gradually spread out of the front hallway.

 

“Alright alright,” said Hank, looking around. “Where’s this boytoy I’ve heard so much about. I’ve got to pay him my respects and also my sympathies for shacking up with Walter here.”

 

Jesse had been helping Junior take the boxes to the living room but he appeared back from around the corner. His forehead creased sharply for a minute, and then his eyes widened.

 

“Oh my fucking God.”

 

Hank’s head snapped up and he looked past everyone to Jesse, who was looking shell-shocked. Hank’s mouth dropped open.

 

“ _You_?”

 

 

***

 

 

They were all sitting in the living room, Hank and Jesse sitting on opposite sides of the couch configuration, everyone else trying not to look too obviously between the two of them. Hank was turning red with indignation. Jesse was gazing blithely back, but faintly wary.

 

“I’m sorry,” Walt said while sitting beside Jesse, eyes narrowed slightly at Hank. “You two know each other already?”

 

“ _No_ ,” both said in unison. No one looked any less confused.

 

“Then…what is…” Skyler began, looking between them.

 

“I wouldn’t say we _know_ each other exactly…we’ve met,” Jesse said shortly.

 

“You didn’t say anything,” Walt said, keeping his voice light.

 

Jesse looked up at him with his forehead wrinkled before it smoothed out in understanding. “No I mean…just by chance, I had no idea he was your brother-in-law or anything.”

 

“What do you mean? Had no idea he was Walt’s brother-in-law when what?” Marie asked bemused, perched on the arm of one sofa beside her husband. “Honey, what’s going on?”

 

Hank gritted his teeth looking at Jesse in displeasure before tearing his gaze away to mumble to Marie, “He’s the…he’s the…you know. _That_ one. The guy.” At her blank gaze he lowered his voice even more. “You know. The…”

 

“I didn’t catch that last part, Hank,” Skyler spoke up, an eyebrow raised.

 

“The _Boy Scout_ ,” Hank barked out, saying it like it was a curse.

 

Everyone looked confused except for Jesse and Marie, whose mouth dropped as she pointed to Jesse faintly, before her head swiveled back to her husband.

 

“That’s -?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“He’s -?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“That was _him_?”

 

“Yes.”

 

There was a long silence as Marie stared at Jesse in shock.

 

And then burst into hysterical laughter.

 

Everyone looked at her in alarm as she rocked back and forth on the arm of the sofa, practically _weeping_ as she fought to catch a breath.

 

“You…are… _joking_ ,” she wheezed.

 

“It’s not funny, Marie,” Hank growled glaring at her and then Jesse. “It was obstruction of justice.”

 

Marie just _howled_ with laughter, literally clutching her sides.

 

“Would someone mind telling me what is happening? Walt, do you know what the hell is going on?” Skyler asked her ex-husband.

 

“I have no clue,” Walt said, looking down at Jesse. He noted in alarm that Jesse was shaking slightly, oh God was he crying? He’d been so worried about meeting the in-in-laws and now –

 

No. Not crying. Jesse was laughing too.

 

“Oh God I’m really sorry, I literally forgot all about that,” Jesse said wiping his eyes.

 

“His work hasn’t,” Marie said eagerly. Jesse looked up at her questioningly and she added: “They still tell this story about Hank at every work party I shit you not, oh my _God_ , I can’t believe that was _you_!” she practically hooted. Jesse looked at his hands, grinning a bit sheepishly.

 

“Yeah yeah, hilarious,” snapped Hank, and they both sobered up. “For those who aren’t in the know, this –“ he swallowed whatever he’d been about to call Jesse and said, “This guy interfered in a highly delicate sting operation I was running seven years ago. Seven, eight years ago.”

 

Marie snorted. “Sting operation my ass. It was a run-of-the-mill stakeout, Serpico.”

 

She didn’t look in the slightest bit bothered but Walt was looking between Hank and Jesse, a growing feeling of unease. He knew that back when Jesse had been in his drug phase he’d had a relationship with the law that was…flexible. Walt had assumed it was limited to things like low-grade dealing or petty theft, nothing excessively _criminal_. But if he’d had run-ins with the DEA…

 

He put a hand on Jesse’s shoulder, frowning at Hank. “So what happened?” he asked, addressing either of them.

 

“It was down by the Crossroads Motel, you know, that skeezy hangout off the 40 where all the druggies go? The ‘Crystal Palace’? There was this hooker who we were trying to bust, a run-of-the-mill crackhead –“

 

“Wendy,” Jesse interrupted. Hank’s head shot up to glare at him. Jesse just shrugged. “Her name’s Wendy.”

 

“Excuse me.  Well we were pretty sure your friend - _Miss._ Wendy - had begun selling things other than just her usual tricks, you know? We couldn’t bust her on solicitation ‘cause it’s worth no one’s while, but if she’s turning crystal too…that’s another story.”

 

Walt’s hand tightened on Jesse’s shoulder. He knew Jesse was fine hearing the names of his former vices thrown out but still.

 

“So I’m in the parking lot, just me undercover, and I need this bust, you know? So that I can move up in the department. And busting a hooker on dealing, that’s a piece of cake. So I’ve got my binoculars up and she’s leaning into a car window across the lot. And they aren’t haggling on windies lemme tell ya, this is some girl tweaker who's driving. I see _Wendy_ reach into her bag –“

 

Hank broke off, clenching his jaw as he looked at Jesse. “And then this one pops up knocking on my window, asking if I want to buy Boy Scout cookies.”

 

Marie let out an ugly snort, reaching up to cover her mouth. “Sorry.”

 

“I’m trying to wave him away, you know? But it’s just _tap tap tap_ ‘Hey mister! Hey mister you wanna buy some Boy Scout cookies?’ and all the rest of it,” Hank glowered. “And you were what, eighteen, seventeen?” he asked, addressing Jesse. He didn’t wait for a response, but barreled on saying, “Well he looks fucking twelve. And he’s putting on some fake voice like a castrato, all _Mister Mister_! And I’m trying to watch the swap happen across the lot so I can drive in and bust her dealing ass but now there’s this ‘kid’ hanging off the tires asking me if I want to buy Boy Scout cookies. I can’t drive away or I’m gonna run him over. So I roll down the window to be like _fine_ , I’ll buy your Boy Scout cookies.”

 

Hank paused and Walt glanced at Jesse who looked innocent enough, but Walt was pretty sure he saw his eyes glinting wickedly. He looked over at Marie who had a similar look as she waited for whatever Hank was about to say next.

 

Hank drew in a breath. “And he just looks at me, gives me the finger and says, and I quote, ‘Here’s your fucking Boy Scout cookies, _bitch_.’ And runs away.”

 

Hank looked around at his family’s faces with a disgruntled expression. “And by the time I look back to the car to catch them dealing, they’re both already gone. He…he’d been distracting me so she could get away.”

 

Jesse’s lip twitched. Marie didn’t even bother to stop at a twitch, but burst into uncontrollable laughter again.

 

“And to this _day_ his department still talks about the time the mighty ASAC Schrader was taken down by a Boy Scout,” she gasped, wiping her eyes.

 

Walt couldn’t help the simmering feeling of mirth that was running through him. He caught Skyler’s eye. She was currently covering her mouth, but the rest of her face was slowly turning red while she tried to hold in her laughter. Junior looked at Jesse in total entertainment.

 

Hank looked around, his family not reacting the way he’d been hoping for. “He was interfering with police work which is a federal offense,” he said hotly.

 

Jesse raised an eyebrow. “You said five minutes ago that you were undercover. A civilian who’s not engaging in a felony can’t be charged for unknowingly interacting with a police officer if said officer is operating undercover.” He paused. “Unless you’re saying you suck so much at being undercover that someone’s _supposed_ to be able to tell you’re a cop,” he added lightly.

 

Hank’s face turned red before turning to Walt. “Jesus Christ, Walt, are you listening to this? You know the kinds of people that frequent the Palace? Junkies who are looking for an easy way out. You think that’s the kind of person you should be shacking up with?”

 

The air of amusement that had slowly been sinking over the room was quickly wiped away as everyone stopped looking so entertained. There was an uncomfortable silence and Walt opened his mouth angrily, but Jesse beat him to the punch.

 

“Yeah. I used to hang out there. Nasty place. Full of junkies just like I used to be,” he said easily but his eyes were blazing. “At least we watched out for each other. And if that meant going out and distracting some police officers with nothing better to do than to make an easy bust, then that’s what we’d do.”

 

He leaned forward glaring at Hank. “I’m not saying I was a good person back then. But I got out of that whole business, and I’ve been out for a long fucking time. Now you might be some tough-as-shit cop or whatever, so I don’t expect you to give a damn about that side of things. I know your job is hard. Know what else is hard? Ditching that scene and not looking back once. Think getting out of it is easy? Go on. Go out and try it, Mr. Tough Shit and _then_ let me know if that’s an ‘easy way out’.  And then, _maybe_ I’ll let you tell me if people should be shacking up with me or not. But until then I don’t really give a shit.”

 

He stared at Hank with burning eyes, his jaw jutting out defiantly. Hank was looking back at him with a speculative expression. He seemed to be considering him. Everyone else stared at them uneasily.

 

Finally Hank broke the silence. “Maybe I’ll let you know over a couple beers sometime?”

 

Jesse eyed Hank, expression still hard. “Beer, singular. Me being a former junkie and all.” He smirked at Hank. “Make mine a ginger ale and you got it.”

 

Hank looked at Jesse for a long, tense moment. And then he got up and walked towards the kitchen. Walt thought for a second that Hank was storming out. Until Hank came back, a beer swinging from his hand, holding something out to Jesse. A ginger ale.

 

“Well cheers, Boy Scout,” he said.

 

Jesse reached for it, raising an eyebrow first at the can, then at Hank. His lip quirked up.

 

“Cheers, bitch.”

 

Both clinked their drinks together taking a swallow.

 

Hank clapped his hands together once looked around at the rest of the room, stopping at Walt who was smiling softly at him. Hank nodded and cleared his throat.

 

“So who else is drinking what? ‘Cause I don’t know about anyone else but I’m fucking starving.”

 

 

***

 

After dinner the group moved back into the living room, holding mugs of tea and coffee. By now it was pitch-black outside even though it was only evening. Jesse had insisted on clearing the table and Junior shot up to help. Everyone was exclaiming how delicious everything had been, all saying they couldn’t eat another bite if they were paid, knowing full well their second stomachs would kick in after cards, by the time dessert rolled around: cookies and popcorn, a White family tradition.

 

They were just settling in when the doorbell rang. Skyler looked confused and got out of her seat, walking over to the door. She opened it and paused for a moment before asking incredulously: “ _Saul_?”

 

Walt instantly felt a knot in his stomach. _Shit_. He’d forgotten about his agreement with Saul. When they transferred his money to the school board under Gus Fring’s name it was being done in two separate installments: one that Walt had to sign for on New Year’s, and another he had to sign for on…Christmas day.

 

“It’s for me, Skyler,” he said getting up. Hank and Marie looked up interestedly as Saul walked into the room wearing a dark green suit, red dress shirt, and gold tie.

 

“Walt, buddy, why is a Christmas wreath visiting you?” Hank asked, eyebrows bunched.

 

“He ordered you a stripper for Christmas,” Saul said. “Relax,” he added drily, when Hank looked like he actually believed it for a second. “I’ve got business with Walter here and then I’m off.”

 

“Who’s doing business on Christmas day?” Hank asked, unconvinced.

 

“People whose last name is Goodman,” Saul said easily. When Skyler opened her mouth about to object, Saul swung around to her. “Good to see you too, beautiful, that’s what you were going to say wasn’t it? Mind if I steal your ex-husband for a minute? I promise I’ll return him to Jesse in full working order, no parts missing.”

 

Jesse walked out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dish towel. “Saul?”

 

“And there’s Thing 2! I brought the uh, papers we’ll be needing. We don’t need to bore these nice people with the details by filling them out here.  Why don’t you get back in the kitchen, hmm? Oh God it’s been so long since I’ve said that.”

 

Walt cast Skyler an apologetic look as he and Saul went over to the kitchen for some relative privacy.

 

“Saul, can I offer you some coffee?” Skyler called after them, gesturing to the cups on the coffee table.

 

“Sweetheart there’s not a thing in the world you could offer me that I’d say no to.” He paused. “That was a ‘yes please’ with a ‘thank you’ thrown in.”

 

Walt and Jesse leaned on table in the kitchen while Saul took out some legal documents hissing, “I went over to your house but nobody was there –“

 

“My fault, Saul,” Walt said. “I forgot to tell you we’d be over here.”

 

“Yeah well ‘I forgot’ doesn’t pay for any elementary schools, does it? So here’s the fake will that we’ll be using to say it’s Gus’ money, I thought you might want a copy for yourself. But don’t do anything idiotic like keeping it as bathroom reading material or something, please burn it once you’ve had a look. And Walt, these are what I need you to sign, they let me transfer the money from your account over to his…yes there, I’ve put Xs everywhere you need to sign, oh wow look at that, you figured it out…”

 

They all bolted upright when someone came in but it was just Skyler holding out a cup of coffee to Saul, who took it, breathing in the steam dramatically.

 

“Darling this smells even better than you,” he said taking a sip.

 

“Is this the money transfer?” she asked, nodding at the documents, fully in the know. She scanned the forms quickly. “Oh you’re using the Lipinsky method of transfer? Good call, that’ll be watertight.”

 

All of Saul’s previous flirtations with Skyler had seemed to be on the fairly reflexive side, endearments rolling off his tongue as automatically as his legal jargon sandwiched between endless quips. But all of a sudden he was looking up at Skyler, his eyebrows bunching together.

 

She looked back at him awkwardly. “What?”

 

He smiled, shaking his head, forehead smoothing out. “You just get more beautiful every time I see you, don’t you?”

 

Walt was expecting Skyler to move on, the way she always did when a Saul-ism was lobbed at her. He was _fully_ expecting her to deflect.

 

He was _not_ expecting her to turn slightly pink and look back down at the papers, a smile glimmering at the edges of her mouth.

 

Saul bent back down over the table, rifling through the pages, finding more places for Walt to sign. Walt caught her eye over the top Saul’s head and mouthed _really_?

 

She just rolled her eyes at him, nodding towards where Walt was now expected to sign. Walt smirked hugely at her, bending down to put his signature to the pages.

 

“Well that’s it this time,” Saul said, gathering up his papers and sliding them back into his briefcase which he snapped shut. They exited the kitchen. “Walt I’ll see you on New Year’s. Skyler…I’ll see you whenever you like. Merry Christmas, Whites and Co.”

 

With an exaggerated ‘call me’ motion at Skyler, Saul saluted the rest of the group before stepping out into the evening air.

 

“Uh, sorry about that,” Walt laughed unconvincingly. “Just some…things…you know.”

 

“Walt, why do you have a lawyer visiting you?” Hank asked. “The hell are you two up to?”

 

Officially called-out, Walt looked around uncomfortably.

 

“Well…”

 

Jesse of course knew about where Walt’s money had come from. Skyler was allowed to know. But letting Walt’s DEA-agent de facto brother know about revenue from the manufacturing of meth that was now being used to rebuild a school in the name of a former kingpin?

 

Families didn’t have to know _everything_ about each other.

 

“I’ve been seeing a lawyer because…” Jesse and Skyler looked warily at Walt floundering, both avoiding Hank’s scrutinizing gaze

 

“Because…” Walt felt a bead of sweat pricking the back of his neck.

 

“Because Jesse and I are getting married,” he blurted out, seizing Jesse’s hand in a rushed movement.

 

Everyone’s jaw dropped as they stared at Walt. Everyone including Jesse.

 

“ _What_?” Jesse asked. Walt squeezed his hand. Hard.

 

“Yeah we’ve been talking about it for a while and you know…why wait?”  Walt asked, giving a weak laugh. He gave Jesse a look, silently begging him to play along. This was going to be one hell of an awkward conversation. But not as awkward as explaining to a family member in law enforcement just where you’d gotten a huge sum of money and what you were planning on doing with it.

 

Jesse frowned slightly at Walt before turning back to Hank and Marie putting on a bright expression. “Yeah, we’re engaged. We were gonna let everyone know soon, an official announcement or whatever, but we wanted to see a lawyer first. Just for, you know, the legality, a pre-nup and everything. Make it all official. It was gonna be a surprise but uh…”

 

He looked around the room. Walt was looking at him gratefully but guiltily. Skyler was looking sympathetic as she watched Jesse lying.

 

“Surprise?” he offered.

 

There was a brief moment of silence. And then Marie was getting up, clasping her hands together and letting out a delighted laugh. “You really are full of those, aren’t you? Come here, honey, congratulations,” she said, pulling him towards her, kissing him on both cheeks.

 

“Well what do you know,” Hank laughed, shaking his head. He got up to shake Walt’s hand then Jesse’s. “Sky, you got any champagne around so we can celebrate in style? And some more ginger ale for my young friend here,” he said, elbowing Jesse’s ribs. “Congrats, you two, I mean it.”

 

Walt looked over at Jesse who was smiling graciously at Hank. But once everyone turned away, excitedly looking for champagne glasses he looked down at the floor, swallowing slightly. God, Walt would never stop being an idiot.

 

Junior came over to give Jesse a one-armed hug. “I can’t believe you guys are engaged,” he exclaimed.

 

Jesse’s mouth was smiling but his eyes weren’t.

 

“Me neither.”

 

***

 

Walt was in the kitchen stirring a fresh mug of coffee. Skyler walked up to join him. He didn’t look up.

 

“I know, I _know_ , you don’t have to say it, Skyler, I just…I blanked.”

 

“I wasn’t going to say a thing,” she said gently, reaching up to rub Walt’s shoulder. “Is Jesse still…?”

 

“Outside,” Walt sighed. He could see Jesse’s outline through the porch doors, hands in his pockets, staring out at the pool, despite how chilly it was outside, now that it was dark out. “I didn’t think I should interrupt.”

 

“Is he smoking?” Skyler asked.

 

Walt looked away from Jesse’s silhouette, shaking his head. “He’s chewing it,” he muttered, referring to Jesse’s habit of chewing on the end of a cigarette when he was thinking about something. Jesse rarely smoked these days. He’d been refraining when teaching kindergarten every day, only lighting up on weekends. But now they spent so many of those with Walt’s family and baby Holly that he’d been cutting back altogether. But he’d still chew on one when he was feeling particularly aggravated about something. Walt felt another spike of guilt. He’d been feeling them ever since that ridiculously insensitive ‘reveal’. God, this wasn’t how he’d planned on today going at all.

 

Skyler was looking at him, biting her lip. “What are you going to do?”

 

Walt looked down at the still-corked bottle of champagne Skyler had reluctantly taken out of the fridge, knowing full well that neither Walt or Jesse had been planning a declaration of this sort. They hadn’t opened it yet though. Jesse had muttered something about how he must have eaten too much and needed some air.

 

Walt sighed again. And passing his coffee over to Skyler he walked over to the porch door, sliding it open and stepped outside in the crisp night air. He gently closed the door behind him and walked over to Jesse who was still standing by the edge of the pool.

 

“Can I join you?” Walt asked hesitantly. Jesse twisted his head back towards Walt, unlit cigarette clamped between his lips. He nodded and Walt stepped up beside him.

 

They stood side-by-side, hands in their pockets, not saying anything, just looking at the moon reflected in the surface of the pool.

 

After a while Walt turned to Jesse.

 

“I’m really sorry,” he murmured. Jesse looked up and Walt gazed earnestly back at him. “I mean it. I’m really very sorry.”

 

Jesse stared at him softly. And then he reached out to take Walt’s hand. “ I know. And I believe you. But thanks.” He squeezed Walt’s hand and Walt felt a flood of relief. That was the thing about Jesse. He never really held a grudge.

 

They continued looking out at the pool, same poses as before, this time with their fingers laced. Walt moved in a little closer, angling his head to the side.

 

“Really though, I – I was shooting from the hip. I had no idea what to say but I never meant to put you on the spot like that. I feel just - awful.”

 

“Mr. _White_ , it’s okay,” Jesse smiled at him. “I said I know.” But he turned back to the pool looking a bit troubled, letting out a slight sigh as he chewed on his cigarette.

 

“Hey, what is it?” Walt asked anxiously.

 

“No it’s nothing really it’s just…I guess when you’ve thought so much about a certain thing and then it pops out but…but like that, it’s just…”

 

Walt nodded, still feeling horrible. “That’s not the way I’d have wanted it to go either.”

 

Jesse moved closer to him. “Have they started drinking champagne?”

 

Walt shook his head. “Not yet. Skyler will think of something to hold them off, or to just not do it altogether.”

 

“Good,” said Jesse. “Not because it wouldn’t be something to celebrate,” he added quickly to Walt. “Just…it would feel weird if it weren’t…real.”

 

“No no, I know,” said Walt, plagued with guilt all over again. “But hey,” he said lowering his voice. Jesse looked at him and Walt moved in a little closer. Their arms were now pressed together loosely. “If it makes you feel any better…we really would still be celebrating it, if it were for real. I mean as family. Everyone’s _so_ glad you’re here. I’m so - ” Walt waved his free hand, looking for the right word. “I’m so _grateful_ you’re in my family, Jesse. I don’t say that enough but I am. I can’t thank you enough for being a part of it.”

 

“Thank _me_?” Jesse asked. He let out a small incredulous laugh. “My family doesn’t even talk to me anymore. And with you I get one already built in. I should be thanking you for letting me get to know them.”

 

Walt rubbed Jesse’s hand with his thumb. “Yeah well. They love you. I – I love you.”

 

He turned to Jesse, holding his hand more fully. “I love you so much,” he swallowed.

 

Jesse smiled at him. “I love you so much.”

 

“Well,” Walt smiled back. “That’s a relief to still hear, I gotta tell ya.” Jesse snorted and aimed a kick his way.

 

“Of course I still love you, you diva. I wouldn’t have known what to say either. It would take a lot more than you being a terrible liar to make me stop being in love with you.”

 

“What would it take?” Walt asked quietly.

 

Jesse looked at him softly. “Nothing. Nothing could make me stop being in love with you.”

 

Walt smiled at him, swallowing around a lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat. “Good, that’s…good. Now. Are you going to take that cigarette out of your mouth so I can kiss you or what?” he asked gruffly.

 

Jesse grinned, reaching up to pull it out from between his lips. He flicked it to the side, turning his eyes back to Walt. “Ready when you are.”

 

Walt huffed out a laugh as he reached up, running his thumb over Jesse’s bottom lip. Jesse tilted his chin up and Walt leaned in and slowly sealed their mouths together, kissing him gently. He tried to put a lot of things into it, a little bit of apology, but mostly how much he loved him.

 

Jesse angled his head and he slid his arms around Walt’s neck, parting his lips.

 

They stood there bathed in moonlight, just kissing unhurriedly until everything felt okay.

 

Walt broke away eventually and rested his forehead against Jesse’s. He rubbed his knuckles over Jesse’s cheekbones.

 

“Wanna go back inside now?”

 

“In a minute,” Jesse said with a content smile, sliding his arms around Walt’s waist, burying his head in the crook of Walt’s neck. “In a minute.”

 

They looked back over the pool wrapped in each other’s arms. It was so…serene. So right. Under the night sky Walt knew he’d never feel as complete as he did when he was with Jesse. Like somehow any jagged edges each of them had just fit into each other perfectly.

 

The sky was spread above them in a vast blanket of stars. It should have made Walt feel like a tiny, insignificant part of the world.

 

But standing here with Jesse, Walt just felt like he was on top of the world instead, more than he’d ever felt in his life.

 

Which is why he had to turn to Jesse, pressing a kiss to his forehead and saying again: “I told you that’s not the way I imagined something like that going. Me telling you I planned on marrying you, or something. I mean it. I’d have done it very differently.”

 

Jesse looked at him teasingly. “Oh would you have? And what exactly did you imagine?”

 

Walt hummed thoughtfully. “Well for starters we’d be alone and not in front of my ex in-laws for one thing,” and Jesse burst out laughing.

 

Walt looked at him fondly, moving some hair out of his eyes. “I’d probably have given you some kind of short speech beforehand. About how much you mean to me, how lucky I am to have you in my life, that kind of thing.”

 

Jesse nodded seriously. “You do like your speeches.”

 

“I’d – I’d make sure you felt the same way.”

 

Jesse smiled. “And I _do_.”

 

Walt nodded. “I’d also have wanted to give you a ring too.”

 

“Hmm. A nice one, I’d hope?”

 

Walt reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, which he flipped open in front of Jesse.

 

Walt swallowed. “Would this one do?”

 

Jesse mouth dropped. He looked at Walt completely floored.

 

“ _What_?”

 

Walt just nodded at the ring box, trying to ignore the way his heart was hammering out of his chest.

 

Jesse reached out tentatively, stroking the slim silver band inside that shone brightly in the moonlight. He looked at it, eyes wide.

 

“Mr. White what are…where did you get this?”

 

“I’ve had it for - for weeks now.”

 

Jesse lifted his eyes to to Walt, still in shock, but with a smile tickling the corners of his mouth. “Seriously? Is that what you were buying when we were shopping?”

 

Walt nodded a bit sheepishly. “I mean I’d been thinking about it for longer, but that’s when I actually picked it up. And it’s been…God it’s been burning a hole in my pocket ever since. I was just looking for…for the right moment, I guess.”

 

Jesse huffed out a dazed laugh. “So back there, this was in your pocket the whole time?”

 

Walt reached out to cup Jesse’s face. “I was going to wait until we got home. I really was. I’ve been on pins and needles all day just thinking about it. Then the schedule got a little more…advanced than I intended.”

 

Jesse was staring between Walt and the ring, absolutely astonished. “You really are unreal,” he said but there was a wide, amazed smile on his face as his gaze rested on Walt in awe. “Sneaky bastard.”

 

Walt grinned. “Then you really don’t want to hear about me measuring your finger while you were sleeping.”

 

Jesse burst out laughing. “Dude I _asked_ you why there was a measuring tape in the bedroom that morning! This is kind of a relief, not gonna lie.”

 

Walt shrugged. “I told you I’d been planning it for a while.”

 

Jesse laughed again but this time it sounded more choked as he looked up at Walt, giving him a smile that was a little overwhelmed.

 

Walt’s face suddenly turned more serious. “Jesse forget everything back there. I love you  _so_ much. There’s no one I’d rather ask this of than you.”

 

Jesse grinned. “Ask what?”

 

Walt looked down at him softly, too overcome to smile back.

 

“Jesse Pinkman will you marry me?”

 

Jesse gave him a look of helpless joy. He swallowed tightly and nodded.

 

“Of course. Of course I’ll marry you.”

 

And then all Walt could do was smile, relief rushing over him as he reached up to clasp his hand to Jesse’s face again.

 

“Good,” he said quietly, more than a little choked up.

 

Jesse grinned hugely at him. “Good?”

 

Walt burst out laughing. “Okay, how about great?”

 

“How about amazing?”

 

“How about fantastic?”

 

“How about you kiss me because I’m dying over here?”

 

And smiling so wide it hurt, Walt bent down to kiss Jesse breathless, unable to stop his mind from churning out a desperate stream of _thank you thank you thank you_.

 

They parted, both panting but unable to stop smiling. All of a sudden Walt blinked and registered he was still holding the ring.

 

“Oh right,” he said, snorting at himself. “I guess you might want to actually wear the thing.”

 

“You guess right,” Jesse said, holding out his hand. Walt took it in his own and gently slid the ring onto Jesse’s fourth finger. “Does it fit?”

 

Jesse nodded, looking down at the silver ring around his finger, a lump in his throat. “It’s perfect.”

 

“Good. _Great_ ,” Walt said smiling, running his finger over the band. He lifted up Jesse’s hand, gently kissing his knuckles. And pulling in Jesse by the hand he kissed his lips, his heart swelling.

 

Finally they pulled back a little. “Wanna go inside now?” Walt murmured against Jesse’s lips.

 

Jesse kissed him again. “Yes.”

 

They walked back through the sliding door, stepping into the warm, bright house. Skyler turned to look at the two of them, hand in hand. Her gaze rested on Walt uncertainly.

 

Walt cleared his throat. “Why don’t you open that champagne now, Skyler.”

 

Skyler looked at him questioningly. And her gaze fell to Jesse’s finger.

 

“ _Really_?” she asked, a hand going to her mouth.

 

Walt couldn’t hold back any longer and his smile split his face. He looked at Jesse who nodded back, a laugh bubbling up.

 

“Really.”

 

Skyler broke into a wide grin.

 

“ _Hank_ ,” she called. “I need your assistance.” She carried the bottle over to the dining room table, stopping to give both Walt and Jesse a quick kiss.

 

“Well about time,” Hank said, coming over from the living room, laughing gleefully, rubbing his hands together. Marie came over behind him and started excitedly setting up champagne flutes, pouring ginger ale into two of them for Jesse and Junior.

 

Jesse picked up Holly, kissing her on the cheek as he accepted his own flute of ginger ale. As Walt watched him with his daughter he felt a tug in his heart at the sight. He and Jesse had already pretty much discussed that kids of their own wasn’t really on the table.

 

But maybe…

 

Walt smiled, pushing the thought to the corner of his head. They had time to discuss anything they wanted.

 

Walt went over to stand beside Jesse, sliding an arm around his waist. He kissed the top of his head as Hank released the champagne cork with a loud, reverberant _pop_.

 

Jesse passed Holly back over to Skyler and looked up at Walt, almost serenely. Walt rubbed Jesse’s face with his own and gave him another quick kiss, trying not to let his eyes well up _too_ much.

 

Hank raised his glass. “To Walt and Jesse.” Everyone echoed it and drained their glasses. Walt and Jesse stood side by side blissfully as everyone talked excitedly around them, beginning to move into the other room, filling the house with animated chatter.

 

Walt bent his head to Jesse’s where he once again murmured, “I love you.”

 

Jesse gave him an unbelievably contented smile. “I love you too.”

 

He suddenly burst out laughing.

 

“Can you believe it though?” he asked, eyes twinkling up at Walt’s.

 

“I can,” Walt smiled. “I do.”

 

Jesse reached up to stroke Walt’s jaw. He let out a low laugh that radiated nothing but total happiness.

 

“I do.”

 

They smiled softly at each other for a few more moments, Walt’s heart too full to manage anything else. So he kissed him instead.

 

Walt pulled away, completely fulfilled. In one easy motion they turned towards the living room.

 

And linking their hands together again, they walked over, side-by-side, and joined the rest of their family.


	5. Chapter 5

If you had told Jesse ten years ago that he’d one day be spending New Years Eve in a roomful of cops...well Jesse would have assumed that that room was in prison and he was being arrested.

 

He never imagined that he’d be attending a New Years Eve party at the home of the _head_ of Albuquerque’s Drug Enforcement Administration as a guest. Who was currently passing him a can of soda, slapping him on the back, and introducing Jesse to his DEA buddies, all of whom roared with laughter when they found out about his brief encounter with their boss so long ago.

 

Breaking away from the group he took a sip of soda and looked around the room, experiencing a slight out-of-body feeling just because of his surroundings. The room was full of thumping music, crowds of people laughing over the paper cups they were holding, sparkling streamers everywhere, and a bevvy of waiters passing around hors d’oeuvres provided by Albuquerque’s best catering company. Jesse had to hand it to this DEA bunch: they sure knew how to throw a party.

 

The rest of Jesse’s holidays had been significantly more low-key, although that was not to say not enjoyable. Mainly just lots of time spent with Walt and his family whether it was curled up on the sofa watching old movies or out fighting off hoards of post-Christmas shoppers. And sometimes Hank and Marie stopped by and they would all play poker. Well. _They_ would play poker. Jesse would play them. He laughed to remember the first time he’d absolutely wiped the floor with Hank, to everyone’s shock except Walt’s.

 

Jesse scanned the room for him now and caught sight of his – Jesse broke into a wide grin – his fucking _fiancé_ standing over by the wall with some of Hank’s work friends. He just watched Mr. White for a while as he was leaning up against the wall, nodding his head along to whatever they were saying, sipping at a beer. All of a sudden Jesse saw him burst into laughter, grin lighting up his face, and Jesse felt walloped over the head by just how much he loved the man. He loved everything about him. He loved his stupid khakis, he loved the wire-framed glasses, he loved those button-up shirts that wrinkled whenever Jesse hugged him from behind. He loved his hands that gestured so animatedly whenever Mr. White was explaining something. And he loved how they came to rest on Jesse’s shoulder when he was listening to him. He loved his strong jaw with its dark goatee that scratched Jesse whenever he kissed him. He loved the way Mr. White’s eyes got laser-focused whenever he was working, how they would flash when he was annoyed, the way they crinkled when he was teasing Jesse, how when he was five steps ahead of you they took on just the faintest devilish glint, and how the blue-green was always always always lit up and crackling from so much intelligence, so much intensity, so much _life_. He loved how two such wildly different souls should never have been flung together in the first place, how they could have just missed each other but something out there in the universe had other plans. He loved that he had found someone who challenged him, made him laugh, made him feel like he always had more to give. He loved that against all odds that person was Mr. White. He loved Mr. White.

 

As though Jesse’s thoughts were a tangible thing, hoisted up and carried along by the volume of the room straight over to Mr. White, Jesse saw him look up and glance over Jesse’s way. He smiled and raised his beer at Jesse, and Jesse caught sight of a flash of silver, twinkling on his hand from where Mr. White’s own new ring was. It was identical to Jesse’s. They’d gone out and picked it up on Boxing Day, the day after Jesse had said yes, _yes_ he would marry Mr. White.

 

Jesse grinned back at him, lifting his own soda in return, pointedly waggling his own ring finger. He saw Mr. White smile harder and Jesse shook his head a little in disbelief, stupefied by how he’d gotten here, gotten Mr. White, gotten everything he never even thought he had a shot at. Mr. White mouthed _I love you_ at Jesse over the heads of the crowd. Jesse pretended to catch the words, exaggeratedly clutching them to his heart and going into a swoon. When he straightened up he saw Mr. White covering his mouth where evidently he’d just sprayed some DEA agents with beer by laughing. Jesse suddenly felt struck by the kind of high that he only used to be able to get from crystal. Come down, repeat, come down, repeat. With Mr. White there was no come down from this feeling. This feeling was forever. This feeling was real.

 

 _I love you too_ , Jesse mouthed back, eyes laughing. He was about to walk over and join him when all of a sudden Marie was by his side, grabbing hold of his elbow chattering about people Jesse needed to meet. Jesse craned his head back and gave Mr. White a grin and a helpless shrug. Mr. White raised his eyebrow, pointing teasingly to his watch, reminding Jesse it was ten minutes until midnight.

 

Walt watched Jesse be steered away, smiling at how Marie and Hank had taken to Jesse. He’d really lucked out with his family. After he and Skyler had separated there was every chance of them all splintering to the far corners. He and Skyler could never have spoken to each other again except for dropping off the kids at each other’s houses. He could have become bitter and ruined his relationship with his children. Marie he might only bump into once in a while. He and Hank would have made the effort to get together for a beer every weekend, which would have turned into every couple of weeks, then once a month, and then dwindling away into nothing at all, leaving Walt with only memories of a brother.

 

He’d never stop being grateful that somehow his life had done enough of a turn-around that he and Skyler could still patch things up, stitching the rest of their family back together in the process. And Jesse coming in…against all odds, Jesse was the final knot.

 

Smiling to himself, Walt caught sight of Skyler standing by a window that looked over the desert. He wandered over.

 

“Any resolutions?”

 

She looked over. “If I tell you, doesn’t that mean they don’t come true?”

 

“I think that’s just birthday wishes,” Walt mused.

 

“Not taking that chance,” she teased. “How about you though?”

 

“I do have a couple,” said Walt. He looked at her seriously. “One of them is to never take for granted that you’re still in my life.”

 

She laughed. “My goodness.”

 

“I mean it, I was just thinking about it now,” Walt said honestly. “Back when we were separated and it was, you know, _really_ bad…Skyler, you had every reason to just pack up the kids and go. And it would have been on me. But somehow I was lucky enough to screw my damn eyeballs back in and prioritize.” Skyler looked at him softly. “So thank you. Because even though we didn’t work out,” Walt swallowed. “Somehow everything else did.”

 

Skyler just took one of Walt’s hands in her own. “You call this not working out?” she asked him gently. And she was right. A year ago would they have been able to stand hand-in-hand, not just as ex-spouses but as friends, and have the kind of honest conversations that at this point had become standard for them? Not likely. In some bizarre way they’d never been closer.

 

So Walt just smiled. “I guess not,” he admitted. She squeezed his hand and at the same time they leaned in, exchanging a kiss that was short but infinitely sweet.

 

Pulling back, something out of the corner of Walt’s eye caught his attention. There was only one person he knew who would wear a silver tie.

 

“I told him it was fine to stop by Hank’s,” Walt told Skyler whose head had swung around to where Walt was looking. He shrugged. “I figured it’s alright and not really suspicious anymore seeing as how Jesse and I are,” he laughed. “ _Actually_ engaged this time.”

 

Skyler glanced back and let go of Walt’s hand to discreetly arrange her bangs. Walt rolled his eyes.

 

“Seriously? _Goodman_?”

 

“Oh what, like you’re one to talk about unorthodox choices?” she snorted.

 

“Yeah but it’s – it’s _Saul_ ,” he protested. “The man’s ridiculous, you’d eat him alive.”

 

“Were you or were you not recently telling me I needed someone smart, funny, and exciting?” Skyler asked lightly, ticking off the qualities on her fingers. She took a sip of her drink and blinked innocently at Walt.

 

“Okay fine, smart I’m maybe willing to give you. Funny…sure, in a ‘laugh at’ kind of way I guess. But by exciting I didn’t mean my _criminal lawyer_ ,” Walt hissed.

 

Skyler just smirked. “Your criminal lawyer is waiting for you. Tell him I say hi.”

 

Walt fought down a grin, shaking his head at his ex-wife. “Unbelievable,” he muttered as he turned to walk over to Saul who was lingering in the doorway of the main room.

 

“Auld lang syne,” Saul exclaimed when Walt approached him.

 

“Hello Saul,” Walt said, reaching out to shake his hand. “Thanks for agreeing to stop by here.”

 

“Only one thing to sign this time, so it’ll be a quick visit, fear not,” said Saul. “You won’t have to ring in the new year with your favourite lawyer, as much as I know you were probably hoping to.” He took out something that looked a bit like a palm pilot and handed Walt a stylus. “Sign right on the dotted pixels, please.”

 

Walt gave his signature and Saul took it back, pressed a few buttons and slipped it back into his pocket. “Pleasure doing business, you are now the proud albeit anonymous benefactor of an elementary school.” As Walt passed back the stylus Saul looked at his hand and did a double-take, a slow grin spreading across his face.

 

“Well would you look at that! Congratulations,” he said, slapping Walt on the shoulder.

 

Walt glanced at him, unused to hearing any note of sincerity in Saul’s voice. “You mean it?”

 

Saul scoffed. “What do you mean, do I mean it? Remember the first time I even met you lunatics? I could hear the wedding bells from even back then.”

 

“You could not,” Walt snorted.

 

“I most certainly _could_!” Saul said. “I know what a good team looks like when I see one. The Albuquerque Isotopes? Bad team. You and that kid? Good team. I mean it.”

                                                                                  

Walt smiled, a little surprised. “Yeah. Gonna have to agree with you on that one.”

 

Saul threw up his hands. “What do you know. Miracles do happen. It really is the dawn of a new year.”

 

Walt frowned. “Speaking of which,” he said, looking at Saul appraisingly. “What are you doing working on New Years anyways?”

 

 “Justice never sleeps,” Saul said, smoothing down his shimmering tie. “Besides, it’s one of the busiest nights of the year. Lots of drunk drivers tonight, all of them needing lawyers.”

 

“Honestly though,” Walt said, waving away Saul’s attempt at deflection. “I mean I appreciate you going to such lengths to show up in person, but I just would have thought you have people who do this sort of thing for you.”

 

“Well,” Saul drew out the word. “I do have a guy since you’re wondering. But he’s got family and I don’t wanna ask him around the holidays. It’s fine, really.” He cleared his throat and perused the room, avoiding Walt’s gaze.

 

Walt twiddled his engagement ring around his finger and gave Saul a considering look. He didn’t know too much about Saul’s personal life but he didn’t imagine it included family. Not if Saul had been showing up on Christmas Day and now on New Years, with apparently no other commitments. Saul was looking around the party with an interested but slightly wistful expression. The man would probably be going home to more papers and…oh what the hell.

 

“Why don’t you stick around for a little while?” Walt shrugged. Saul swung around to face him.

 

“Seriously?” he asked, the word fairly marinated with skepticism.

 

“Yeah why not,” Walt said. He nodded to a string of silvery tinsel right above them. “You already match the décor.”

 

“Because I’m really about to take fashion advice from a man who I’ve never seen out of khakis once.” Saul paused. “I guess that’s a privilege reserved for young master Pinkman.”

 

“Jesus,” Walt muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose, already starting to regret the offer.

 

“Oh I’m just pulling your leg,” Saul said. He took another look around the room. “These are some great decorations though, look at them all…”

 

“Oh for the love of – she’s by the window, Saul,” Walt said exasperatedly. “So you can stop pretending you’re admiring the curtains while you look for her.”

 

Saul looked at him, eyebrows raised all the way up to his comb-over. Walt snorted.

 

“Yeah. You’re smooth but you’re not that smooth.”

 

Saul adjusted his tie and raised his hands, flattening his hair with his palms. “Watch me.”

 

“I’m…not going to do that.”

 

They exchanged a somewhat awkward look, their business relationship officially concluded, both aware they were now just conversing as guys. Finally Saul cracked a smile.

 

“I don’t care what the kids are saying these days. I think you’re swell,” he said to Walt.

 

Walt just rolled his eyes. “The window, Saul,” he said drily, but he was smiling a little. Saul gave him a look that was somewhat grateful, but also a little wicked. Walt just shooed him away. It wouldn’t do to let Saul know he actually found him, well, kind of not completely intolerable.

 

Saul spun on his heel and headed over to the side of the room towards Skyler. Walt saw Skyler straighten up a little and good lord. This was going to be interesting. But he’d done his duty to Skyler as wingman and the rest was up to them. But Walt had a feeling they were going to be seeing a lot more of Saul around. Somehow the idea wasn’t as horrific as Walt might have once imagined.

 

Walt sent a cartoonishly besotted expression Skyler’s way, fluttering his eyelashes. She discreetly gave him the finger over her paper cup. He just laughed and blew her a kiss, turning away to look for Jesse.

 

“Alright people, one minute,” he heard Hank bellowing from somewhere in the room. People whooped in response and Walt looked around in alarm, walking to the middle of the room. Where had Jesse gotten to?

 

He turned around and immediately relaxed, smiling at the sight of Jesse who was fairly gamboling through the crush of people, grinning as he leapt over to him. Jesse didn’t break stride for an instant, and slid his arms around Walt’s neck, leaned up on his toes and kissed him for a long moment by way of a greeting. Walt would never get over the way it made his heart pound. Every. Single. Time.

 

Drawing back, Jesse nudged Walt’s face with his own, giving him a brilliant smile.

 

“Am I late?” he asked.

 

_20_

_19_

_18_

_17_

 

Walt shook his head, slipping his arms around Jesse’s waist, smiling back.

 

“You’re right on time.”

 

_16_

_15_

_14_

_13_

_12_

_11_

The two stared at each other. And unable to wait the ten extra seconds, they gently leaned in towards each other in the same moment, lips catching, arms tightening, smiling against each other’s mouths, while the voices around them counted down to greet the New Year.

 

 

***

 

Jesse pulled up into their driveway, switching off the headlights. He looked over at Mr. White in the shotgun seat.

 

“We’re home,” he said as he turned the car off. Walt’s lips twitched up at the words.

 

They opened the car doors, stepping into night air, lit up by the porch light they’d left on.

 

“Oh hey, Saul asked me who’s gonna draw up the marriage certificate when it happens,” Jesse mentioned as they made their way up the driveway, in no real hurry. It was a nice night. “He was wondering if I’d be taking your name.”

 

Walt laughed. “And?”

 

“I told him one Mr. White in the world is more than enough,” Jesse teased him.

 

Walt gave him a friendly shove, but immediately pulled him in closer. They walked up the rest of the driveway, arms looped easily around each other.

 

Stepping up onto the porch, bathed in a warm glow from the light, Walt reached into his coat pocket for his keys. Jesse put a hand on his, stopping him.

 

“Let’s not go in yet, it’s nice out. And I think they’re going to do another round of fireworks in the park, we should be able to catch them from here.”

 

Walt laughed at the eagerness in Jesse’s voice, but he dropped his keys back into his pocket and placed a kiss on the top of Jesse’s head. They settled down on their porch, Jesse leaned up against Walt’s side, head resting on his shoulder as they faced the deserted road.

 

Walt stroked a hand up and down Jesse’s arms and Jesse made a contented sound. They stayed that way for a while, curled together, listening to the sounds of the early hour.

 

“You know what I was just thinking earlier?” he asked Walt suddenly.

 

Walt shook his head.

 

Jesse leaned up and looked at Walt, and Walt was hit by the intensity of Jesse’s gaze.

 

“I almost missed you,” Jesse said simply.

 

A line appeared between Walt’s eyebrows. “Missed me? Like…”

 

“Like I almost missed knowing you,” Jesse said, giving a slightly dazed laugh. “Can you imagine?”

 

Walt reached up to rub Jesse’s jaw with his knuckles. “But you didn’t.”

 

“I could have though,” Jesse said insistently, shifting to face Walt more fully. “No really, when I think about everything that might have gotten in the way of meeting you again I just…it’s mind boggling.”

 

Walt continued to stroke Jesse’s face. “Such as?”

 

Jesse shrugged, placing a hand on Walt’s knee. “I guess I’m just glad I met you again now. I wasn’t always this…together. I used to think the world owed me a favor just for showing up,” he said huffing out a laugh. “I didn’t appreciate things and it…it kills me to think there was ever a time where I might not have appreciated you,” he said softly.

 

Walt smiled at him. “Well. Not to diminish your hypothetical, but there was a time when I might not have exactly been the easiest to appreciate. You’re not the only one who’s grateful they woke up.”

 

Jesse rubbed his knee. “Well. I am. Grateful, that is. I mean what if I’d never hit rock bottom and decided I needed to pick myself up? What if I’d never gotten clean, what if I’d never gone to college, what if we never worked together -” Jesse broke off suddenly getting choked up. He swallowed and continued. “I might have just…passed you in a grocery store. And I would have had no _clue_. I never would have known that you – that you were –“

 

Jesse’s chin suddenly wobbled and his eyes flooded with tears, his hand going to his mouth. But before Walt could say anything, Jesse just pulled his hand away, drew in a shuddering breath and looked straight at him.

 

“That you were the best thing to ever happen to me,” he said shakily.

 

Walt blinked rapidly as he reached out to cradle Jesse’s jaw with his hand. He couldn’t think of a single thing to say that fully encompassed just…just _how_ much gratitude he had for the fact that both of them were here. Walt wasn’t even supposed to make it this far in the first place. Any number of things could have prevented him from being here on these steps, with this person who against all kinds of rational thought had turned out to be everything Jesse had said: the best thing that ever happened to him.

 

So he brushed his thumb over Jesse’s chin and swallowed around the lump in his throat.

 

“I’m glad I met you when I was on the upswing,” he said quietly.

 

Jesse smiled at him, hand tightening over his knee as if proving they were there. He looked like he was about to say something else when all of a sudden he blinked and straightened up, frowning slightly. He squinted against the sky and –

 

“Dude! It’s snowing!”

 

Walt looked up. And indeed you could make out just the faintest shimmer of sparse particles, dusting down and catching in the glow of the streetlights, swirling lightly on their way to the ground. Well what do you know.

 

“ _Barely_ ,” Walt said.

 

“Doesn’t matter,” Jesse said grinning, giving Walt a light punch to the arm. “You still owe me five bucks.”

 

Walt looked at him captivated: Jesse’s face upturned and lit up as he watched the snow come down, smiling when the stray barely-there flakes caught in his eyelashes and in his hair.

 

“I owe you everything,” Walt said, reaching out to gently brush them away.

 

Jesse leaned into the touch and Walt cupped his head. Jesse smiled up at him.

 

“I was going to say the same thing,” he said.

 

Walt let out a thoughtful sound. “Well mathematically we can’t _both_ owe each other everything, that doesn’t work.”

 

Jesse laughed, sliding his hands into Walt’s coat. “Fifty fifty?”

 

Walt leaned in to rest his forehead on Jesse’s, not even bothering to stop the silly grin that had appeared, heart fuller than he could have possibly imagined.

 

“Fifty fifty.”

 

Walt could hear fireworks whistling in the distance, exploding with a faint popping sound, but he didn’t turn his head to look. They were nothing compared to the ones in his heart anyway.

 

And running his hands through Jesse’s hair once more he gently tipped his chin up. Jesse smiled and leaned in, a puff of air escaping his lips right before they met Walt’s, lightly parting beneath his mouth. And sat beneath the porch light wrapped in an embrace, just two people who’d spent their lives on entirely different trajectories, gradually and unknowingly curving towards each other until the moment when their eyes locked at exactly the right time for both of them.

 

They pulled apart smiling, hands clasped.

 

“Hey, Mr. White?”

 

“Mmm?”

 

Jesse squeezed his hand emphatically eyes practically glowing at him.

 

“Happy New Year.”

 

Walt let out a huff of laughter as he squeezed his hand in return.

 

“It really is.”       

 

Standing up off the porch step they stayed leaning easily against each other as Walt took out the keys to their house, unlocking the door, something about the motion so softly elating. Standing on the threshold, Walt turned to smile at Jesse again, and he couldn’t resist bending down to give him another kiss before they walked in. Because it was true:

 

It was a happy new year.

 

In every way that mattered.

 

 

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! I wasn't at all sure if anyone would still be invested in this AU world. But as far as I was concerned these two still had just a little bit of story left, so I hope you enjoyed:) Thanks again!


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